¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-11-13 812

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi.
I was so pleased to see your better condition today.
Your voice and facial expression became nearly normal, I think.
I hope your illness will be gone completely.
As I told you, today is colder than other days.
And, it made a situation of decreased patients today.
These days, I have been sick of my work.
Maybe, it was caused by last vacation's complication.
I just want to have a break everyday.
What about you?Have you ever felt like this emotion?
We can say this as a"slump".
Basically, I am diligent, but also always want to be free from restricted lifestyle.
Sometimes, I want to spend all my time playing games or singing or traveling alone.
As we both know, it's impossible to do it right now.
Meanwhile, I need more exercise absolutely to keep my health.
I realized the need of exercise long time ago, nevertheless, I have not done it with many unreasonable excuses.
Today is Dr.MJ's birthday.
He wants to have a good profit for birthday gift, but it doesn't seem to be easy.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

Thank you so much for submitting this homework answer early in the day. I snoozed off for quite some time trying to catch up with all the exhaustion of my weekend. Nevertheless, I am happy to give my grammar suggestions and comments as well.


First of, thank you for observing my status. I felt like I was a Zombie last week. Of course, I may have wanted to rest but there was no way I can do that. Right now, I have been feeling so much better. Thank you for your kind consideration as well as concern on my well-being.


Happy birthday to Dr. MJ! If money is everything that makes him happy, he must be sad this season because it is already  a given that people will not go out that much due to the weather. I hope Dr. MJ can learn to be relaxed and calm about financial conditions.


Now about slumps- we are human beings who feel drained and exhausted from our routines. Of course, I want to break away from the habitual or routine work. However, since I have many kinds of work, I meet various people, go to different places, and feel many sorts of feelings. As a result, I still love my usual routine at the same time, the uniqueness of my other work. Sometimes, the change of working environment makes us feel more alive.


Maybe you need to rearrange your table or furniture at work to tweak it a bit and give you a new perspective.


In reality, we cannot quit on what we need to do. Our consistency determines our success.


Your sentences were correct, clear, a variation of many patterns, and were organized in a systematic sequence. Overall, excellent piece of writing!


See you tomorrow morning!

-T. Donna~


Hi.

>> Correct!

I was so pleased to see your better condition today.

>> Correct!


Your voice and facial expression became nearly normal, I think.

>> Correct!


I hope your illness will be gone completely.

>> Correct!


As I told you, today is colder than other days.

>> Correct!


And, it made a situation of decreased patients today.

>> Correct!


These days, I have been sick of my work.

>> Correct!


Maybe, it was caused by last vacation's complication.

>> Maybe, it was caused by the last vacation's complication.

I just want to have a break everyday.

>> Correct!


What about you?Have you ever felt like this emotion?

>> Correct!


We can say this as a"slump".

>> Correct!


Basically, I am diligent, but also always want to be free from restricted lifestyle.

>> Basically, I am diligent, but also always want to be free from a restricted lifestyle.


Sometimes, I want to spend all my time playing games or singing or traveling alone.

>> Correct!


As we both know, it's impossible to do it right now.

>> Correct!


Meanwhile, I need more exercise absolutely to keep my health.

>> Correct!

I realized the need of exercise long time ago, nevertheless, I have not done it with many unreasonable excuses.

>> I realized the need of exercise a long time ago, nevertheless, I have not done it with many unreasonable excuses.


Today is Dr.MJ's birthday.

>> Correct!


He wants to have a good profit for birthday gift, but it doesn't seem to be easy.

>> Correct!

See you.

>> Correct!

 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132493 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 642
132492 What kind of community do you have in Ulsan? Write about it. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 2
132491 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 1204
132490 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 2
132489 Cooking ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 1123
132488 Do you think that one day there will be just one language in the... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 2
132487 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Would you like... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 3
132486 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 0
132485 How do you clean your body? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 685
132484 The advantages of sharing my worries with my family °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 1
132483 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 1344
132482 Does music have the power to change your mood? ÀÌ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 4
132481 Letter ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 1
132480 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 1
132479 How do you think social media platforms contribute to the... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 1
132478 pention ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 1077
132477 homework ¾È*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 758
132476 How long does it take you to take a shower? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 801
132475 In English, there are sick jokes, private jokes, cruel jokes,... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 2
132474 My extrovert trait ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-16 779

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04