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영작교정 게시판

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What sports did you play as a child? What was your proudest moment?

작성자: 이*윤
2023-11-11 1094

회원님의 영작문

I remember swimming and playing badminton when I was young.
Both sports have good memories.
The sports that I remember most clearly is swimming.
Swimming was an exercise that I started to lose weight.
Because I suddenly gained weight when I was young.
However, I have a funny memory of gaining more weight because my father always bought me delicious foods after swimming.
The proudest moment while swimming was when I leveled up to the hightest class, named junior player class.
I became a junior player, I was preparing to participate in the competition, but I couldn't participate in the competition because I quit swimming to study.
I'm kidding, but if hadn't quitted swimming at that time, I might have become a famous swimming player to go to the Olympics or the Asian Games and win a gold medal.
Maybe, it's destiny that I'm swimming now.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Yun. Your swimming journey is awesome! I'm proud of what you achieved, reaching the junior player class. Life's twists have led you back to swimming now, and that's fantastic. Keep enjoying every moment in the pool! 
~T. Jade^^
Homework: What sports did you play as a child? What was your proudest moment?
I remember swimming and playing badminton when I was young.
>> Correct
Both sports have good memories.
>> Correct
>> OR: Both sports bring back good memories.
The sports that I remember most clearly is swimming.
>> The sport that I remember most clearly is swimming.
Swimming was an exercise that I started to lose weight.
>> Correct
Because I suddenly gained weight when I was young.
>> Correct
However, I have a funny memory of gaining more weight because my father always bought me delicious foods after swimming.
>> Correct
The proudest moment while swimming was when I leveled up to the hightest class, named junior player class.
>> The proudest moment while swimming was when I leveled up to the highest class, named junior player class.
I became a junior player, I was preparing to participate in the competition, but I couldn't participate in the competition because I quit swimming to study.
>> I became a junior player. I was preparing to participate in the competition, but I couldn't because I quit swimming to study.
I'm kidding, but if hadn't quitted swimming at that time, I might have become a famous swimming player to go to the Olympics or the Asian Games and win a gold medal.
>> I'm kidding, but if I hadn't quit swimming at that time, I might have become a famous swimming player to go to the Olympics or the Asian Games and win a gold medal.
Maybe it's destiny that I'm swimming now.
>> Correct
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