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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Does technology affect your relationship with your kids or family? in what way? If not, Why so?

작성자: 김*경
2023-11-10 1124

회원님의 영작문

No matter whether we notice it or not, many technologies are working to make our daily lives better every day. For instance, washing dishes, a vacuum, a laundry machine, a TV, and other gadgets with wifi connections are home appliance technologies that are already part of our lives. On top of that, high-tech vehicles protect us much more safely in our driving, namely, navigating the location to go with easy-to-recognize graphics and sound, and giving a driver useful information with many sensors surrounded inside and outside the vehicle.

These technologies relieve the burden of housework, giving family members more time to enjoy leisure after work or school. These trends of development of technology seem to go faster and faster afterward because people want it more and more. As technology has come a long way when it comes to benefits for humanity, I hope it can contribute to a better human society and lives. I want technology for humanity, not vice versa as negative futurists expect

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용


Hi, Steve!

Thank you so much for answering your homework :)
Your English skills are totally excellent!

I really appreciate it!
 :) 

YOU ARE EXCELLENT! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! 

-T.NIKKI ^^ 


No matter whether we notice it or not, many technologies are working to make our daily lives better every day. 
>> CORRECT!

For instance, washing dishes, a vacuum, a laundry machine, a TV, and other gadgets with wifi connections are home appliance technologies that are already part of our lives. 
>> For instance, washing dishes, using a vacuum, a laundry machine, a TV, and other gadgets with Wi-Fi connections are home appliance technologies that are already part of our lives. 

On top of that, high-tech vehicles protect us much more safely in our driving, namely, navigating the location to go with easy-to-recognize graphics and sound, and giving a driver useful information with many sensors surrounded inside and outside the vehicle.
>> On top of that, high-tech vehicles provide us with more safety in our driving, namely, navigating the locations with easy-to-recognize graphics and sound, and giving the driver useful information using the sensors surrounding the inner and outer parts of the vehicle.

These technologies relieve the burden of housework, giving family members more time to enjoy leisure after work or school. 
>> CORRECT!
OR>> These technologies lessen the burden of house chores, giving family members more time to enjoy leisure after work or school. 

These trends of development of technology seem to go faster and faster afterward because people want it more and more. 
>> CORRECT!


As technology has come a long way when it comes to benefits for humanity, I hope it can contribute to a better human society and lives.
>> Technology has come a long way when it comes to giving benefits to humanity, I hope it can contribute to a better society and livelihood. 

I want technology for humanity, not vice versa as negative futurists expect
>> I want technology for humanity, not vice versa as negative futurists expect to happen. 

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133510 Would you rather visit every country or fly to outer space? 송*우 완료 2023-12-28 801
133509 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it important... 앨* 완료 2023-12-28 3
133508 What subject would you like to be most knowledgeable about? 에*미 완료 2023-12-28 1
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133506 Homework 류*우 완료 2023-12-28 375
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