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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-11-09 1778

회원님의 영작문

Hi.
Today is a peaceful day as well.
Since it is raining outside, there were only few patients at the clinic.
Hence, I could do many administrative work and teach a counseller manager.
Of course, the profit was not good, nevertheless, I am not worried about it at all.
Our clients will come back to our clinic after this bad weather season.
I heard a problem from our managers just before.
One of staff gave a patient a wrong information about our clinic, and she claimed about it.
Our staff managers and I apologized sincerely many times, nevertheless, she posted a vice reply on a social platform.
You know what?
There is a superstition among korean doctors.
When it's rainy, crazy or annoying patients will come.
Dr. MJ and I will have a "Sam-gye-tang" after today's work.
It will comfort us.
Regarding my homework, I want to learn many sports like golf, swim, tennis, and pilatiz if possible.
I wonder if your symptoms were improved.
You looked better than yesterday, but still pale.
See you.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening once again, Dr. Kim!

You are lucky and blessed to have peaceful days. There is power in calmness. Today, you can think well of some other things at work such as teaching your counselor and correcting another staff's mistake. I wonder what the staff actually said. 

So, it rained again today. Were there any crazy patients? Erring staff is enough to make Dr. MJ mad. I hope that your Samgyetang time together was relaxed and stress-free.

Meanwhile, as a family, there are so many sports that you can enjoy as a family with your wife and daughters. Last week, you went to enjoy swimming which is an amazing exercise without even realizing you are exercising.  As Irene and Maegan grow, you can have tennis doubles. Finally, your wife would probably love to do Pilates with you.

My symptoms improved when I went out and exercised. I walked 2.5 kilometers today. I was dizzy but I made it!

You had smooth transitions and conjunctions. Thank you for sending your journal early for me to check today. Your hard work is always valued. 

See you in the morning!

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

Today is a peaceful day as well.
>> Correct!

Since it is raining outside, there were only few patients at the clinic.
>> Correct!

Hence, I could do many administrative work and teach a counseller manager.
>> Correct!
Or: counselor

Of course, the profit was not good, nevertheless, I am not worried about it at all.
>> Correct!

Our clients will come back to our clinic after this bad weather season.
>> Correct!

I heard a problem from our managers just before.
>> Correct!
Or: I heard a problem from our managers.

One of staff gave a patient a wrong information about our clinic, and she claimed about it.
>> One of staff gave a patient a wrong information about our clinic, and she claimed it.

Our staff managers and I apologized sincerely many times, nevertheless, she posted a vice reply on a social platform.
>> Correct!

You know what?
>> Correct!

There is a superstition among korean doctors.
>> Correct!
Or: Korean

When it's rainy, crazy or annoying patients will come.
>> Correct!
Or: When it's (rainy/raining), crazy or annoying patients will come.

Dr. MJ and I will have a "Sam-gye-tang" after today's work.
>> Correct!

It will comfort us.
>> Correct!

Regarding my homework, I want to learn many sports like golf, swim, tennis, and pilatiz if possible.
>> Regarding my homework, I want to learn many sports like golf, swimming, tennis, and Pilates if possible.

I wonder if your symptoms were improved.
>> Correct!

You looked better than yesterday, but still pale.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
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