¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework (Self introduction)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÁÖ
2023-11-08 2432

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Actually, I wanna check the full contents of self Introduction.
I'm not sure if the grammar of each sentence is correct.
I want you to correct the grammar If there are wrong or awkward sentences.
There are a lot of sentences... So, sorry if I ask you this.
What I wanna say is that I appreciate always!...
Thank you for helping me!
(I revised some parts what you advised me In our class)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Seog Ju!

Thank you for sending this! I will mostly focus on the grammar corrections to maintain the authenticity of your introduction, okay?^^

~T. Divina :)

Here are some things to take note of:

My previous company personally organized exhibitions/fairs and initially, the amount of my assignments was low. However, as the days went by, my workload started building up. After I realized that I easily forgot my tasks that I needed to prepare and make progress of, I made a calendar and started to record the things that I needed to accomplish that day. I experienced various assignments such as attracting business companies, planning and promoting events, and coordinating with international buyers.

1. Attracting and Managing Companies

When I started my internship, I immediately worked on business attraction, which was the beginning step of the fair preparation. The task was to attract the local government and other various companies in the region. In my case, I was given a special task to attract the Tourism Agency and Cultural Center of each city in Korea. I also did post-management, which was the point after the event was completed.

2. Planning and Promoting Side Events and SNS Events

I had a lot of experiences in planning and promoting side events and SNS events. I had an experience in researching various events including side events, creating posters, recruiting and managing participants, and promoting the events online through SNS. These promotions had reached cafes, blogs, Instagram, and Facebook. Since the fairs included seminars, conferences, and receptions, I had to research, invite, and organize speakers such as university professors and corporate representatives.

3. International Buyer Consultation Meetings and Fam Tours

During the fair, I had experienced being the person-in-charge of international buyer consultation and fam tour. I contacted overseas agencies and recruited international buyers. After recruiting the buyers, I had the chance to create their schedule. In addition to these, I worked with the local government of Geoje to coordinate with the needs of the travel agencies, as well as the accommodations of the buyers to ensure that the fam tour progressed smoothly.

When I first worked in corporate attraction, I was not confident with my own pronunciation, intonation, tone of voice, and information about the fair. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Note: Is this the end of your introduction? If yes, I think there is still something that you need to add to complete it. For now, this is all I can do to improve it. I hope this helps!)


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129043 homework 06.23 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 1475
129042 What fiecest animal that you seen? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 1884
129041 Computer is good or bad why? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 1112
129040 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 1501
129039 Shame and embarrassment. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 1959
129038 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 0
129037 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 0
129036 Should a company hire people with tattoos? Why or why not? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 1891
129035 In your opinion, what has been the most significant... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 1199
129034 What are the effects of pollution? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 3
129033 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 1
129032 DIRECTIONS: Fill in the blanks. Choose the right verb tense. ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 2
129031 Are ethical issues really a major issue in the field of robotics... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 5
129030 If you meet some South Koreans there in your place, what kind of... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 1251
129029 Which greeting kind of annoys you? ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 1284
129028 food ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 1040
129027 22.Jun.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 1
129026 How often do you listen to music? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 1
129025 Diet Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 1582
129024 WRITING TASK: Do you think going on a strict diet is important?... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-23 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04