¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework (Self introduction)

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÁÖ
2023-11-08 1257

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Actually, I wanna check the full contents of self Introduction.
I'm not sure if the grammar of each sentence is correct.
I want you to correct the grammar If there are wrong or awkward sentences.
There are a lot of sentences... So, sorry if I ask you this.
What I wanna say is that I appreciate always!...
Thank you for helping me!
(I revised some parts what you advised me In our class)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Seog Ju!

Thank you for sending this! I will mostly focus on the grammar corrections to maintain the authenticity of your introduction, okay?^^

~T. Divina :)

Here are some things to take note of:

My previous company personally organized exhibitions/fairs and initially, the amount of my assignments was low. However, as the days went by, my workload started building up. After I realized that I easily forgot my tasks that I needed to prepare and make progress of, I made a calendar and started to record the things that I needed to accomplish that day. I experienced various assignments such as attracting business companies, planning and promoting events, and coordinating with international buyers.

1. Attracting and Managing Companies

When I started my internship, I immediately worked on business attraction, which was the beginning step of the fair preparation. The task was to attract the local government and other various companies in the region. In my case, I was given a special task to attract the Tourism Agency and Cultural Center of each city in Korea. I also did post-management, which was the point after the event was completed.

2. Planning and Promoting Side Events and SNS Events

I had a lot of experiences in planning and promoting side events and SNS events. I had an experience in researching various events including side events, creating posters, recruiting and managing participants, and promoting the events online through SNS. These promotions had reached cafes, blogs, Instagram, and Facebook. Since the fairs included seminars, conferences, and receptions, I had to research, invite, and organize speakers such as university professors and corporate representatives.

3. International Buyer Consultation Meetings and Fam Tours

During the fair, I had experienced being the person-in-charge of international buyer consultation and fam tour. I contacted overseas agencies and recruited international buyers. After recruiting the buyers, I had the chance to create their schedule. In addition to these, I worked with the local government of Geoje to coordinate with the needs of the travel agencies, as well as the accommodations of the buyers to ensure that the fam tour progressed smoothly.

When I first worked in corporate attraction, I was not confident with my own pronunciation, intonation, tone of voice, and information about the fair. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Note: Is this the end of your introduction? If yes, I think there is still something that you need to add to complete it. For now, this is all I can do to improve it. I hope this helps!)


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131593 Have you ever experienced a \"once-in-a-lifetime\" event? What... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1175
131592 How nutritious is bread? What is your favorite spread to put on... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1289
131591 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? You... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 2
131590 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 987
131589 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1455
131588 homework 10.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1142
131587 Should the government use public funds to financially support... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1
131586 Do you you read a book before bedtime? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1188
131585 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1
131584 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 922
131583 ¡°You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 0
131582 What makes you smile today? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1073
131581 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 4
131580 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 5
131579 Is going to academy/academies important? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1
131578 HOMEWORK-231011 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 1
131577 What exotic food would you like to try? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 960
131576 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°The most... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 0
131575 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 0
131574 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-11 977

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04