무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homwork (2023.11.08)

작성자: 이*주
2023-11-08 984

회원님의 영작문



Today, I couldn't understand some conversations while we was taking a class.
But, I understand now.
Well.. I think what you said about listing down all my tasks/duties in my previous job is so good.
But actually, I'm still confused now haha..
Well, I wrote what you said me at number 1. (I changed some numbers.)
Please check this hehe..!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello there, Leo.
Yes, I guess you still misunderstood what I meant. Hahaha.
 But that's fine. I just requested you write down your past employment responsibilities. 
As an example: 1. Leading family tours and international buyer consultation. 2. Searching for foreign buyers through international agencies. and so forth... You can look at number three to see what I meant. However, without the last sentence.
BTW, I tried to check and rephrase your work from the attached file. Kindly check. 
-Chammy
Today, I couldn't understand some conversations while we was taking a class.
>>Today, I couldn't understand some conversations while we were talking in class.
But, I understand now.
Well... I think what you said about listing down all my tasks/duties in my previous job is so good.
But actually, I'm still confused now haha...
>>Correct
Well, I wrote what you said me at number 1. (I changed some numbers.)
>>Well, I wrote what you told me at number 1. (I changed some numbers.)
Please check this hehe..!
>>Correct
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I previously worked for a company that organizes shows and fairs. I began with a simple job that grew in scope over time. Consequently,  I was given plenty of experiences that helped me strengthen my skills. 


1.Attracting and managing companies

When I started my internship, I immediately worked on the business attraction, which is the beginning step of preparing for the fair.

>> When I started my internship, I immediately worked on the business attraction, which was the beginning step of preparing for the fair.

OR

>>I began my internship by working on the business attraction, which was the first step in preparing for the fair.

It was a task of attracting local government and various companies in each region, but I was given a special task to attract Tourism Agency and Cultural Center of each country in Korea, and I also had experience in post-management, which is the point after the event is completed.

>> It was a task of attracting local government and various companies in each region, but I was given a special task to attract the Tourism Agency and Cultural Center of each country in Korea, I also had experience in post-management, which is the point after the event is completed.

OR

>> It was the responsibility to entice the local government and various firms in each region, with a particular emphasis on attracting the Tourism Agency and Cultural Center of each country in Korea. I also had expertise in post-management, which is the phase that follows an event.

 

2. Planning and promoting side events and SNS events

I have a lot of various experience in planning and promoting side events and SNS events

>> I have various experiences in planning and promoting side events and SNS events.

OR

>> I have extensive expertise in organizing and publicizing side events and SNS activities.

It is that I have experience researching various events including side events, creating posters, recruiting and managing participants, and promoting online using SNS such as Cafes, Blogs, Instagram, and Facebook.

The fair included seminars, conferences, and receptions, so I had to research, invite, and organize speakers such as university professors and corporate representatives

>>Correct

OR

>> One of these is researching multiple initiatives, including side events, designing posters, recruiting and managing participants, and advertising online using SNS such as Cafes, Blogs, Instagram, and Facebook.

>> I was responsible for organizing seminars, conferences, and receptions at a fair where I had to explore, invite, and coordinate with speakers such as university professors and corporate representatives.

 

3. International buyer consultation and fam tour.

During the fair , I have experience as the person in charge of international buyer consultation and fam tour.

I contacted oversea agencies and recruit international buyer.

After recruiting buyers, I've created a their schedule.

In addition, I worked with Geoje local government to coordinate the needs of travel agencies, accommodations and buyers to ensure the fam tour progressed smoothly.

When I first started working in corporate attraction I wasn't sure about my own pronunciation, intonation, tone of voice and information about fair. 

>> During the fair, I experienced being the person in charge of international buyer consultation and family tour

>> I contacted overseas agencies and recruited international buyers.

>> After recruiting buyers, I've created their schedule.

>> In addition, I worked with the Geoje local government to coordinate the needs of travel agencies, accommodations, and buyers to ensure the family tour progressed smoothly.

>> When I first started working in a corporate attraction, I wasn't sure about my pronunciation, intonation, tone of voice, and information about fairs. 

OR

>> I had the opportunity to lead the family tour and foreign buyer consultation throughout the exhibition.

>> I make calls to foreign agencies to seek purchasers abroad.

>> After recruiting purchasers, I arrange the schedule for them.

>> Furthermore, I collaborated with the Geoje local government to manage the needs of travel agents, lodgings, and buyers to guarantee the family trip ran successfully.

>> When I initially started working at a corporate attraction, I was unsure of my pronunciation, intonation, tone of voice, and fair information.

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
132704 Homework 김*서 완료 2023-11-23 1
132703 Where is your favorite place in the world? 송*우 완료 2023-11-23 620
132702 Homework 김*숙 완료 2023-11-23 1034
132701 Describe your dream house in not less than 3 sentences. 임*호 완료 2023-11-23 975
132700 Homework 이*화 완료 2023-11-23 1380
132699 homework 김*연 완료 2023-11-23 840
132698 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it really... 앨* 완료 2023-11-23 2
132697 What is it about junk food that is so bad for us? 에*미 완료 2023-11-23 2
132696 My common sickness 김*빈 완료 2023-11-23 1
132695 University 이*솔 완료 2023-11-23 1171
132694 Homework 김*우 완료 2023-11-23 693
132693 First class 염*예 완료 2023-11-23 1
132692 What do I spend my day thinking about most? 박*율 완료 2023-11-23 1259
132691 Homework. 김*님 완료 2023-11-23 1096
132690 Do you think you’re getting more patient or impatient as you... 윤*원 완료 2023-11-23 0
132689 Homework 류*우 완료 2023-11-23 1002
132688 What are some ways to prevent or reduce juvenile crimes in... 김*아 완료 2023-11-23 1
132687 Homework 권*미 완료 2023-11-23 0
132686 Are risk-takers more successful in life? 신*섭 완료 2023-11-23 1091
132685 homework 정*안 완료 2023-11-23 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]