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If you had one wish, what would it be?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ºó
2023-11-08 1828

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to travel abroad, without worries about work, money.
I just have ever been countries near Korea. I have never been Europe, Someday, I want to spend my time in Europe at Christmas.
And when I quit my work someday, I want to live in a Jeju island for a month.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Hye Bin!
Thank you for your composition.
I hope you learn something from the corrections.
Take note of the changes in expressions, patterns and conjunctions.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I want to travel abroad, without worries about work, money.
>> I want to travel abroad, without worries about work or money.
I just have ever been countries near Korea. 
>> I have just been to countries near Korea.
I have never been Europe, 
>> I have never been to Europe.
Someday, I want to spend my time in Europe at Christmas.
>> Someday, I want to spend my time in Europe during the Christmas season.
And when I quit my work someday, I want to live in a Jeju island for a month.
>> Also, when I quit my work someday, I want to live in Jeju island for a month.
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