¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-11-07 1873

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, T.Donna.
Today is the coldest day of this autumn.
There were only few patients and clients, so I enjoyed this peaceful moment.
Maybe, Dr. MJ will be frustrated tomorrow about today's profit and number of patients.
He is now enjoying his day off without awareness of this terrible situation.
I guess this situation is caused by sharply decreased temperature outside.
Anyway, I was so pleased to talk with you about the drama "Moving".
As you know, I don't have enough time to spend watching media.
Since I decided to spend more time with my wife, I tried to watch dramas and movies and play games together.
I really hope it will work efficiently to improve our relationship.
Regarding my homework, I felt bad about the heros who can see through, who has a lightening power.
They have very special ablility, but they look so weak.
Lightening man helped at the important moment, but his role was very restricted.
Korea video always shows an empathy, and that's a strong point, I guess.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

As the days get colder and colder, I hope that your profit goes higher and higher. As you mentioned, Dr. MJ will take care of this. Hope that he does not disappoint. ^^

First of all, as I was checking your homework, as you can see below, your sentences were almost all correct all the way down. Well done on that part. Moreover, the length and depth of your sentences are longer as well. You used adverbs, adjectives, and verbs appropriately as well as a good set of vocabulary. Carry on!

In truth, I also do not watch a lot of drama. I thought it is a waste of time since there are a lot of work to do. However, there are certain dramas and movies worth our time and when we like them, we binge-watch. As a result, we may lack sleep.

Perhaps when we watch a drama, we can put ourselves in the situation of the characters and pretend we are them. After all, our everyday life is also surrounded by drama with our family relations, work conditions, and the many functions we have in society.

Thank you for your time, effort, and diligence!

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Today is the coldest day of this autumn.
>> Correct!

There were only few patients and clients, so I enjoyed this peaceful moment.
>> Correct!

Maybe, Dr. MJ will be frustrated tomorrow about today's profit and number of patients.
>> Correct!

He is now enjoying his day off without awareness of this terrible situation.
>> Correct!

I guess this situation is caused by sharply decreased temperature outside.
>> Correct!

Anyway, I was so pleased to talk with you about the drama "Moving".
>> Correct!

As you know, I don't have enough time to spend watching media.
>> Correct!

Since I decided to spend more time with my wife, I tried to watch dramas and movies and play games together.
>> Correct!

I really hope it will work efficiently to improve our relationship.
>> Correct!

Regarding my homework, I felt bad about the heros who can see through, who has a lightening power.
>> Correct!
Or: Regarding my homework, I felt bad about the heroes who can see through, the one who has a lightening power.

They have very special ablility, but they look so weak.
>> They have very special abilities, but they look so weak.

Lightening man helped at the important moment, but his role was very restricted.
>> Correct!

Korea video always shows an empathy, and that's a strong point, I guess.
>> Korean video always shows empathy, and that's a strong point, I guess.

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132210 My wish ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1167
132209 Homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1
132208 Youth should not use face book ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1701
132207 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2
132206 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1500
132205 How important do you think is family ties and relations in your... ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1106
132204 What time do you usually eat your meals everyday? How do you... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1101
132203 How can you divide your time effectively between work and... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1832
132202 What do you like doing with your childhood friends whenever you... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 870
132201 homework_231103 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1703
132200 WRITING TASK: What was the fondest memory you had with your... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 4
132199 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1616
132198 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1049
132197 A valuable lesson or piece of advice you\\\'ve learned... ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 3339
132196 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1170
132195 What is something that you regret in the past that you want to... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 0
132194 03.Nov.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1
132193 retirement ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1853
132192 my best running time ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1006
132191 Are there any movies that you can watch over and over again... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-05 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04