¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-11-07 1730

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, T.Donna.
Today is the coldest day of this autumn.
There were only few patients and clients, so I enjoyed this peaceful moment.
Maybe, Dr. MJ will be frustrated tomorrow about today's profit and number of patients.
He is now enjoying his day off without awareness of this terrible situation.
I guess this situation is caused by sharply decreased temperature outside.
Anyway, I was so pleased to talk with you about the drama "Moving".
As you know, I don't have enough time to spend watching media.
Since I decided to spend more time with my wife, I tried to watch dramas and movies and play games together.
I really hope it will work efficiently to improve our relationship.
Regarding my homework, I felt bad about the heros who can see through, who has a lightening power.
They have very special ablility, but they look so weak.
Lightening man helped at the important moment, but his role was very restricted.
Korea video always shows an empathy, and that's a strong point, I guess.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

As the days get colder and colder, I hope that your profit goes higher and higher. As you mentioned, Dr. MJ will take care of this. Hope that he does not disappoint. ^^

First of all, as I was checking your homework, as you can see below, your sentences were almost all correct all the way down. Well done on that part. Moreover, the length and depth of your sentences are longer as well. You used adverbs, adjectives, and verbs appropriately as well as a good set of vocabulary. Carry on!

In truth, I also do not watch a lot of drama. I thought it is a waste of time since there are a lot of work to do. However, there are certain dramas and movies worth our time and when we like them, we binge-watch. As a result, we may lack sleep.

Perhaps when we watch a drama, we can put ourselves in the situation of the characters and pretend we are them. After all, our everyday life is also surrounded by drama with our family relations, work conditions, and the many functions we have in society.

Thank you for your time, effort, and diligence!

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Today is the coldest day of this autumn.
>> Correct!

There were only few patients and clients, so I enjoyed this peaceful moment.
>> Correct!

Maybe, Dr. MJ will be frustrated tomorrow about today's profit and number of patients.
>> Correct!

He is now enjoying his day off without awareness of this terrible situation.
>> Correct!

I guess this situation is caused by sharply decreased temperature outside.
>> Correct!

Anyway, I was so pleased to talk with you about the drama "Moving".
>> Correct!

As you know, I don't have enough time to spend watching media.
>> Correct!

Since I decided to spend more time with my wife, I tried to watch dramas and movies and play games together.
>> Correct!

I really hope it will work efficiently to improve our relationship.
>> Correct!

Regarding my homework, I felt bad about the heros who can see through, who has a lightening power.
>> Correct!
Or: Regarding my homework, I felt bad about the heroes who can see through, the one who has a lightening power.

They have very special ablility, but they look so weak.
>> They have very special abilities, but they look so weak.

Lightening man helped at the important moment, but his role was very restricted.
>> Correct!

Korea video always shows an empathy, and that's a strong point, I guess.
>> Korean video always shows empathy, and that's a strong point, I guess.

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132376 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132375 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132374 Investing some money to my friend ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1307
132373 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1861
132372 How far is your parents\' hometown from the capital? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 761
132371 Change is natural ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 863
132370 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 828
132369 In your opinion, at what age is the appropriate age to teach a... ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 777
132368 Have you ever experienced having bedbugs in your home? How did... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1
132367 . ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 4
132366 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1447
132365 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 0
132364 How do you think awareness of habituation can improve overall... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 4
132363 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1037
132362 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 826
132361 HOMEWORK FOR 11.13.2023 ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 2
132360 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1358
132359 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1030
132358 homework_231109 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-13 1252
132357 The biggest accident in my whole life °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-12 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04