¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Youth should not use face book

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2023-11-06 2894

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

First of all, youth use of face book like sns can lead to many bad consequences. For example, youth's uses of sns can lead to less homework, because they cannot concentrate in their works so eventually, there score will drop.
Second of all, in sns there can be many bullying happening. In sns there are many bullying happen so many students are commiting suicide. So I thinks that we should regulate sns to stop student bullying other.
Third it can has some vioent information that children should not see.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Jude! Thank you for writing your composition. I feel happy every time you send your composition. it is also good that you share your ideas and opinions in your composition. We will talk more about Facebook in class. I will see you in class then. Keep writing! ~T. Lyn
First of all, youth use of face book like sns can lead to many bad consequences. 
>>First of all, teenagers liking and using Facebook can have many bad consequences.
For example, youth's uses of sns can lead to less homework, because they cannot concentrate in their works so eventually, there score will drop.
>>For example, teenagers' use of social medica may cause them to do less homework, which can lead to lower grades because they can't focus well on their studies.
Second of all, in sns there can be many bullying happening. 
>>Second, a lot of bullying can happen on social media.
In sns there are many bullying happen so many students are commiting suicide. 
>>There is a lot of school violence and many students commit suicide.
So I thinks that we should regulate sns to stop student bullying other.
>>So I think that social media should be regulated to prevent students from bullying others.
Third it can has some vioent information that children should not see.
>>Lastly, social media may contain violent information that children should not see.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132443 DIARY ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1
132442 diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 2
132441 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1
132440 Positive mindset ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1921
132439 Long lasting relationship with my husband ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 2875
132438 An American report says home-schooled children do much better... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 2
132437 Can you have a democracy if some people cannot vote? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 2
132436 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 3391
132435 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1389
132434 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1570
132433 Homework ¾È*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1244
132432 How far into the future would you like to travel? What do you... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1126
132431 Do you watch television shows in English to help improve your... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 0
132430 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1226
132429 My phone ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1771
132428 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 5
132427 Never loan someone. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 2736
132426 homework 11.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1990
132425 Should schools start later in the day or earlier in the day? Why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 0
132424 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04