¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

retirement

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-11-06 3326

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is not a good thing that human lifespan become longer than ealier.

Longer lifespan causes many imbalances in our life.

As we get older, we face financial and health difficuities in reality.

We know that we should prepare for our old age, but we don't have so much afford it.

If we are healthy, we should do any kinds of work after retirement even social services as we we can do. .

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for your homework, Lily!

You're doing great!

-Hanna ^^

It is not a good thing that human lifespan become longer than ealier.

>>It is not a good thing that human lifespans are becoming longer than before. 
Longer lifespan causes many imbalances in our life.

>>Correct.
As we get older, we face financial and health difficuities in reality.

>>Correct.
We know that we should prepare for our old age, but we don't have so much afford it.

>>While we understand the importance of preparing for old age, affording it can be a challenge.
If we are healthy, we should do any kinds of work after retirement even social services as we we can do. .

>>If we are healthy, we should consider engaging in various kinds of work after retirement, including social services, to the best of our abilities.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128541 How would you feel if your liberty was taken away? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 6
128540 Being alone and Being lonely ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1211
128539 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1364
128538 London ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1
128537 Describe the experience of falling in love. ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1096
128536 Do you like going to a picnic? Why? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 0
128535 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1067
128534 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1144
128533 How can friends have a bad influence on you? ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 860
128532 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1
128531 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1737
128530 5/30 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1397
128529 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1411
128528 What is the coldest month in your country? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1277
128527 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-30 1277
128526 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-29 1419
128525 homework 05.29 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-29 1515
128524 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-29 1578
128523 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-05-29 1699
128522 My favorite mobile game ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-29 1633

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04