¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-11-05 2645

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T. Donna.
How was your weekend?
Since I worked after my vacation, it was harder for me to work this weekend.
Last vacation in Jeju seemed like a dream.
My family and I had a blast.
We swam in a hotel pool, ate delicious food, and saw beatiful scenary everyday.
Last trip in hawaii had passed almost ten months, so this new trip was precious for my family.
As you know, my wife and I had a hard time this year because of many changes, especially increase of my work.
I thought that we need some chance to heal our wounds of relationship and this family trip worked enough.
The most memorable moment was when we took a picture together in the swimming pool of Parnas hotel.
At that time, we could see a sunset and it was awosome.
The best food was a noodle with pork.
Since we reached the restaurant too late, we almost missed the chance to eat the food.
Every moment in Jeju was full of our happiness.
I can say that Jeju is the best place if we choose to travel Korea.
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Dr. Kim!

My weekend was packed with judging an acoustic band contest and emceeing a birthday party. I also drank a non-alcoholic beverage with my radio colleagues. Overall, it was energy-draining, nevertheless, so much fun.

Parnas Hotel was such a paradise. I think it was even better than the view in Hawaii. It was serene, marvelous, scenic, and breathtaking. Since the hotel is new, the amenities are expected to be clean, fresh, and all functioning well. Best of all, it gave you a healing vibe and precious memories with your wife and daughters. As I said, sometimes, the pressure of work gets into us and when we vent it out to our family, it causes some uncomfortable feeling. We need to make amends and make it up through these kinds of activities in one way or another.

After all, the best things in life are not things neither money, but the warmth and reassurance of love coming from our family, nothing else.

When your energy get all too consumed or when you are so stressed, Jeju Island is just one book away with your family. I wish you more beautiful memories for the years to come.

My grammar suggestions were underscored as well my comments. Go over them well. Thank you for the very meaningful writing.

See you then.

-T. Donna~

Hello, T. Donna.
>> Correct!

How was your weekend?
>> Correct!

Since I worked after my vacation, it was harder for me to work this weekend.
>> Correct!

Last vacation in Jeju seemed like a dream.
>> The last vacation in Jeju seemed like a dream.

My family and I had a blast.
>> Correct!

We swam in a hotel pool, ate delicious food, and saw beatiful scenary everyday.
>> Correct! 
Or: beautiful scenery (SPELLING)

Last trip in hawaii had passed almost ten months, so this new trip was precious for my family.
>> The last trip in Hawaii had passed almost ten months, so this new trip was precious for my family.

As you know, my wife and I had a hard time this year because of many changes, especially increase of my work.
>> Correct!
Or: As you know, my wife and I had a hard time this year because of many changes, especially in the increase of my work.

I thought that we need some chance to heal our wounds of relationship and this family trip worked enough.
>> Correct! 

The most memorable moment was when we took a picture together in the swimming pool of Parnas hotel.
>> Correct! 
Or: Parnas Hotel

At that time, we could see a sunset and it was awosome.
>> At that time, we could see the sunset and it was awesome.

The best food was a noodle with pork.
>> The best food was the noodle with pork.

Since we reached the restaurant too late, we almost missed the chance to eat the food.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

Every moment in Jeju was full of our happiness.
>> Correct!

I can say that Jeju is the best place if we choose to travel Korea.
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128721 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 1575
128720 homework °ø*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-08 2440
128719 How can someone spot romance scammers? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 6
128718 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 1347
128717 Do you always make sure that you are prepared when natural... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 2
128716 homework 06.07 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 1495
128715 My favorite day ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 1325
128714 What is your favorite movie and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 970
128713 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 968
128712 What do you know about technology? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 1
128711 Share an experience that has helped to shape your values and... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 2
128710 What is your favorite Korean dish and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 1089
128709 Is it possible parents and children to be friend? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 0
128708 I want to be.. ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 3
128707 How would the world be different if we never considered beauty? ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 1028
128706 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 1
128705 Disagree. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 2
128704 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 1115
128703 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 976
128702 To take care of the health ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-07 1289

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04