¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-11-05 2327

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T. Donna.
How was your weekend?
Since I worked after my vacation, it was harder for me to work this weekend.
Last vacation in Jeju seemed like a dream.
My family and I had a blast.
We swam in a hotel pool, ate delicious food, and saw beatiful scenary everyday.
Last trip in hawaii had passed almost ten months, so this new trip was precious for my family.
As you know, my wife and I had a hard time this year because of many changes, especially increase of my work.
I thought that we need some chance to heal our wounds of relationship and this family trip worked enough.
The most memorable moment was when we took a picture together in the swimming pool of Parnas hotel.
At that time, we could see a sunset and it was awosome.
The best food was a noodle with pork.
Since we reached the restaurant too late, we almost missed the chance to eat the food.
Every moment in Jeju was full of our happiness.
I can say that Jeju is the best place if we choose to travel Korea.
See you tomorrow.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Dr. Kim!

My weekend was packed with judging an acoustic band contest and emceeing a birthday party. I also drank a non-alcoholic beverage with my radio colleagues. Overall, it was energy-draining, nevertheless, so much fun.

Parnas Hotel was such a paradise. I think it was even better than the view in Hawaii. It was serene, marvelous, scenic, and breathtaking. Since the hotel is new, the amenities are expected to be clean, fresh, and all functioning well. Best of all, it gave you a healing vibe and precious memories with your wife and daughters. As I said, sometimes, the pressure of work gets into us and when we vent it out to our family, it causes some uncomfortable feeling. We need to make amends and make it up through these kinds of activities in one way or another.

After all, the best things in life are not things neither money, but the warmth and reassurance of love coming from our family, nothing else.

When your energy get all too consumed or when you are so stressed, Jeju Island is just one book away with your family. I wish you more beautiful memories for the years to come.

My grammar suggestions were underscored as well my comments. Go over them well. Thank you for the very meaningful writing.

See you then.

-T. Donna~

Hello, T. Donna.
>> Correct!

How was your weekend?
>> Correct!

Since I worked after my vacation, it was harder for me to work this weekend.
>> Correct!

Last vacation in Jeju seemed like a dream.
>> The last vacation in Jeju seemed like a dream.

My family and I had a blast.
>> Correct!

We swam in a hotel pool, ate delicious food, and saw beatiful scenary everyday.
>> Correct! 
Or: beautiful scenery (SPELLING)

Last trip in hawaii had passed almost ten months, so this new trip was precious for my family.
>> The last trip in Hawaii had passed almost ten months, so this new trip was precious for my family.

As you know, my wife and I had a hard time this year because of many changes, especially increase of my work.
>> Correct!
Or: As you know, my wife and I had a hard time this year because of many changes, especially in the increase of my work.

I thought that we need some chance to heal our wounds of relationship and this family trip worked enough.
>> Correct! 

The most memorable moment was when we took a picture together in the swimming pool of Parnas hotel.
>> Correct! 
Or: Parnas Hotel

At that time, we could see a sunset and it was awosome.
>> At that time, we could see the sunset and it was awesome.

The best food was a noodle with pork.
>> The best food was the noodle with pork.

Since we reached the restaurant too late, we almost missed the chance to eat the food.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

Every moment in Jeju was full of our happiness.
>> Correct!

I can say that Jeju is the best place if we choose to travel Korea.
>> Correct!

See you tomorrow.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131772 When you were a kid, what were you afraid of? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 1578
131771 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 0
131770 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 930
131769 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 0
131768 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Would you like... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 2
131767 What was the last food you ordered at McDonalds? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 2
131766 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 2103
131765 Decision I wish I never made ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 2307
131764 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 1
131763 What I do to stay healthy ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 1
131762 My Favorite sport ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 2
131761 What are the benefits of eating out? ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 1432
131760 Do you have any sentimental or special clothing items with... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 1288
131759 homework_231018 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-10-19 1380
131758 231017- Homework ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 1
131757 Migrate country ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 1514
131756 Is there anything you want your country to turn into a crime or... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 1
131755 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 990
131754 Before I go to bed °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 2
131753 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 1809

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04