¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*
2023-11-03 2133

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Here's for your homework:
[ESSAY]
In 3~5 sentences, answer the question below:
>> Would you fight for another country other than your own?

I've never imagined what if I fight for another country. If there are not only one case that is participate the war, I could fight for them, such as praying for them and claiming stop the war, donating for their country between Russia and Ukraine. It's the other way of fighting with them. If I got the change to participate the war for their country, I wouldn't participate.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's another corrected composition, Geon!
Many thanks once again for sending it. Happy weekend there! 

Cheers,
Jean~~




                  Would you fight for another country other than your own?



I've never imagined what if I fight for another country.
>> I've never imagined fighting for another country. 

If there are not only one case that is participate the war, I could fight for them, such as praying for them and claiming stop the war, donating for their country between Russia and Ukraine. 
>> If there were other ways of providing aid aside from joining the war myself, then I would do it. I could pray for them, vocalize my support for them on social media, or provide monetary or material donations to their country. 

It's the other way of fighting with them. 
>> This is another method of fighting for and together with them. 

If I got the change to participate the war for their country, I wouldn't participate.
>> If I had the chance to participate in the war of other countries, I wouldn't fight for anyone other than my own nation. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130165 What do you think should people do if there\'s a typhoon coming? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-13 2815
130164 Worst vice ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-13 2922
130163 Action of no reply ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-13 2933
130162 My right person ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-13 2246
130161 Having vices. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-13 1910
130160 Does what we see on television and in movies influence people to... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-13 1492
130159 What do you look for in a good restaurant? ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-12 1289
130158 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-12 1790
130157 What is your best travel tip? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-12 1790
130156 Do you think there¡¯d be fewer wars if all countries were ruled... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3
130155 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2637
130154 homework 08.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2461
130153 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1689
130152 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 0
130151 Would you rather go to the beach or the pamping? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1860
130150 Why is laughter the best medicine? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2257
130149 Homework ÁÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1750
130148 Would you like your name to be put in the Walk of Fame? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1728
130147 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 0
130146 If you\'re talking about rules to follow between love, I think... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 1072

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04