¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*
2023-11-03 1222

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Here's for your homework:
[ESSAY]
In 3~5 sentences, answer the question below:
>> Would you fight for another country other than your own?

I've never imagined what if I fight for another country. If there are not only one case that is participate the war, I could fight for them, such as praying for them and claiming stop the war, donating for their country between Russia and Ukraine. It's the other way of fighting with them. If I got the change to participate the war for their country, I wouldn't participate.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's another corrected composition, Geon!
Many thanks once again for sending it. Happy weekend there! 

Cheers,
Jean~~




                  Would you fight for another country other than your own?



I've never imagined what if I fight for another country.
>> I've never imagined fighting for another country. 

If there are not only one case that is participate the war, I could fight for them, such as praying for them and claiming stop the war, donating for their country between Russia and Ukraine. 
>> If there were other ways of providing aid aside from joining the war myself, then I would do it. I could pray for them, vocalize my support for them on social media, or provide monetary or material donations to their country. 

It's the other way of fighting with them. 
>> This is another method of fighting for and together with them. 

If I got the change to participate the war for their country, I wouldn't participate.
>> If I had the chance to participate in the war of other countries, I wouldn't fight for anyone other than my own nation. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136367 How do you take care of your teeth? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-13 3
136366 In Korea, there are many people who fawn on Mondays. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-13 848
136365 These are my favorite days :) À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-13 690
136364 If I could have chosen any job, I wanted to be an astrophysicist. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-13 341
136363 Rest is very important! À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-13 820
136362 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 2
136361 What was the last thing you accepted? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 1
136360 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 553
136359 homework 04.12 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 377
136358 What is the most famous restaurant in your country and what is... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 303
136357 My personality ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 679
136356 About my neighborhood ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 545
136355 In what ways does your family provide support during tough... ¿À*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 2
136354 Do you enjoy outdoor activities like hiking or camping? Why or... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 496
136353 Can you describe a typical family dinner in your household? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 516
136352 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 503
136351 What do you think is the most dangerous insect? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 499
136350 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 473
136349 2024.04.11 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 626
136348 What do you think about eating disorders such as Anorexia and... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-12 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04