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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*
2023-11-03 2623

회원님의 영작문

Here's for your homework:
[ESSAY]
In 3~5 sentences, answer the question below:
>> What's your thought on the work or company culture in Korea?

In my opinion, one of the Korean company cultures is strict hierarchy. It's more strict than other country such as we must follow a supervisor, superior, senior's order and the way of speaking in a company must be formal and business. I think slightly similar with military culture.
In the far past that is my father's generation, one of the funny things is when superior says
"Are you guys up for the drinking tonight?" - after finishing working
Then successor must says "For sure!" There were no right to refuse the request.
It shows how strict it was. Actually, nowadays, these kind of cultures have been changed. It's much less strict than the past, but still there are. As time goes on, especially, my generation has changed these culture and we have right to show our own opinion and discuss about developing of business between superior.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Here's your corrected composition, Geon!
I appreciate your uploading it! Have a good one! 

Cheers,
Jean~~





                           What's your thought on the work or company culture in Korea?



In my opinion, one of the Korean company cultures is strict hierarchy. 
>> If you ask me, one of the Korean company cultures is a strict hierarchy. 

It's more strict than other country such as we must follow a supervisor, superior, senior's order and the way of speaking in a company must be formal and business.
>> It's more strict than in other countries, for instance, we must follow a supervisor, superior, or senior's order and the way of speaking in a company must be formal and business-like or professional. 

I think slightly similar with military culture.
>> Personally, I think it's similar to military culture. 

In the far past that is my father's generation, one of the funny things is when superior says
"Are you guys up for the drinking tonight?" - after finishing working
Then successor must says "For sure!" There were no right to refuse the request. It shows how strict it was. 
>> In the distant past, that is, in my father's generation, one of the funny things is when a superior says, "Are you guys up for a drink tonight?" - after getting off work. Then the subordinate must say, "For sure!". They had no right to refuse the request, which shows how seriously they took the ranking at work. 

Actually, nowadays, these kind of cultures have been changed. 
>> OR: As I see it, this kind of culture has been gradually disappearing in my country. 

It's much less strict than the past, but still there are. 
>> Although it still exists, it's much less strict than in the past. 

As time goes on, especially, my generation has changed these culture and we have right to show our own opinion and discuss about developing of business between superior.
>> As time goes on, Koreans, especially my generation, have changed these cultures and we have the right to voice our own opinions and discuss business developments with our superiors. 

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