¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-11-02 1450

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages and disadvantages of having "career parents"?

There are many career parents these days.
I think it's reason there are more up educational levels and don't matter of jobs gender, unlike in the past.
In my opinion, the biggest advantage of career parent will be more stability in financial problems in the family.
And each parents can continue to their jobs, so they can continue their career.
In the case of single income, one of the parents have to stop work.
But career parents also have a disadvantage.
I think the disadvantage of career parents problem of their children's education and growth.
There are many daycare centers these days, so they send their children there from baby.
Sometimes it's not good idea because they spend less time with their children.
But, many parents to choose for continue to their career of job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages and disadvantages of having "career parents"?


There are many career parents these days.
>> CORRECT!
I think it's reason there are more up educational levels and don't matter of jobs gender, unlike in the past.
>> I think the reason is that there are parents with higher educational levels and don't care about the jobs related to gender, unlike in the past.
In my opinion, the biggest advantage of career parent will be more stability in financial problems in the family.
>> In my opinion, the biggest advantage of career parents will be the financial stability for the family.
And each parents can continue to their jobs, so they can continue their career.
>> Each parents can continue with their jobs, so they can continue with their career.
In the case of single income, one of the parents have to stop work.
>> In the case of single income, one of the parents has to stop working.
But career parents also have a disadvantage.
>> CORRECT!
I think the disadvantage of career parents problem of their children's education and growth.
>> I think the disadvantage of career parents would be their children's education and growth.
There are many daycare centers these days, so they send their children there from baby.
>> There are many daycare centers these days, so they send their children there.
Sometimes it's not good idea because they spend less time with their children.
>> Sometimes it's not a good idea because they spend less time with their children.
But, many parents to choose for continue to their career of job.
>> But, many parents choose to continue doing their jobs.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131832 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1217
131831 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1
131830 What does the phrase \"follow your heart\" mean? ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1523
131829 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1539
131828 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 2
131827 HOMEWORK - 231020 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 1
131826 For being healthy °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 3
131825 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 3
131824 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 0
131823 home work. ¾È*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 1367
131822 What would you do if you won the lottery? Would your life change... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 1
131821 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1187
131820 What device do you think is the most useful 10 years from now?... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1
131819 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1552
131818 What fruit makes you happy? Why? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1586
131817 What would you like to change about the education system of your... Á¤*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 2169
131816 Some people have suggested that helping needy people is an... Á¤*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1053
131815 homework_231020 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1540
131814 Do you ever think that some music is just noise? Á¤*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1405
131813 Expectations from the class and from teacher. ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1349

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04