¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¾È
2023-11-01 1615

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that young child are engaged in paid work is wrong. They are not form their personality and should learn the basic knowledge. However, I think middle or high school students can earn the money by working. They can get wisdom and responsibility by working with people. They can also experience how adults live the world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Soo An!
Thank you for trying today.
You were very responsive in your answer.
I look forward to our class!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I think that young child are engaged in paid work is wrong. 
>> I think that young children engaging in paid work is wrong. 
They are not form their personality and should learn the basic knowledge. 
>> They have not formed their own personality yet and they should learn  basic knowledge first.
However, I think middle or high school students can earn the money by working. 
>> However, I think middle or high school students can earn money by working. 
They can get wisdom and responsibility by working with people. 
>> They can get wisdom and a sense of responsibility by working with people. 
They can also experience how adults live the world.
>> They can also experience how adults live in the world.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134756 How to enjoy lunar new year ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-17 0
134755 Too tired people ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-17 0
134754 Why we have to be careful to express anger ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-17 0
134753 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-17 1367
134752 Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 1742
134751 Bucket list of places ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 1289
134750 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 0
134749 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 1011
134748 homework 02.16 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 1490
134747 Why they are cheating ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 0
134746 What is the problem in city? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 0
134745 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 1439
134744 2023.02.16 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 3
134743 What is a fundamental lesson that you can share about food... õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 1677
134742 Can you remember your dreams? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 1341
134741 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 0
134740 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 1513
134739 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 1
134738 Favorite television program ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 1249
134737 Describe a time when you faced a challenge and how you overcame... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-16 1000

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04