¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¾È
2023-11-01 594

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that young child are engaged in paid work is wrong. They are not form their personality and should learn the basic knowledge. However, I think middle or high school students can earn the money by working. They can get wisdom and responsibility by working with people. They can also experience how adults live the world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Soo An!
Thank you for trying today.
You were very responsive in your answer.
I look forward to our class!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I think that young child are engaged in paid work is wrong. 
>> I think that young children engaging in paid work is wrong. 
They are not form their personality and should learn the basic knowledge. 
>> They have not formed their own personality yet and they should learn  basic knowledge first.
However, I think middle or high school students can earn the money by working. 
>> However, I think middle or high school students can earn money by working. 
They can get wisdom and responsibility by working with people. 
>> They can get wisdom and a sense of responsibility by working with people. 
They can also experience how adults live the world.
>> They can also experience how adults live in the world.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133174 Is it necessary to have a reunion every year? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 2
133173 School debate ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 480
133172 SElf introduction ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 493
133171 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 442
133170 Should drunk drivers have their driver\'s licenses permanently... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 2
133169 My tastes for some clothing brands ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-13 858
133168 Thinking of me ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 564
133167 Rush hour in Seoul °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1
133166 My decision for next year ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 916
133165 Why is it not good to overwork? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 735
133164 homework 12.12 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1459
133163 Is your hometown famous for anything? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 3
133162 unit 12. homework ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1
133161 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 440
133160 Should students have the option of grading their teachers? Why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 0
133159 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Are you afraid... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 2
133158 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1
133157 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 558
133156 Where i want to go in one country ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 1123
133155 What is the best thing to do after graduation? ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-12 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04