¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¾È
2023-11-01 651

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that young child are engaged in paid work is wrong. They are not form their personality and should learn the basic knowledge. However, I think middle or high school students can earn the money by working. They can get wisdom and responsibility by working with people. They can also experience how adults live the world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Soo An!
Thank you for trying today.
You were very responsive in your answer.
I look forward to our class!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I think that young child are engaged in paid work is wrong. 
>> I think that young children engaging in paid work is wrong. 
They are not form their personality and should learn the basic knowledge. 
>> They have not formed their own personality yet and they should learn  basic knowledge first.
However, I think middle or high school students can earn the money by working. 
>> However, I think middle or high school students can earn money by working. 
They can get wisdom and responsibility by working with people. 
>> They can get wisdom and a sense of responsibility by working with people. 
They can also experience how adults live the world.
>> They can also experience how adults live in the world.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133718 Do you think people have a natural tendency to dislike Mondays?... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 1
133717 Do you like reading books? What book do you like the... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 787
133716 What are the advantages and disadvantages of being alone? Àü*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 1
133715 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 265
133714 Describe a sunset to someone who cannot see it. Á¤*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 680
133713 What is your opinion about a four-day week? Á¤*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 430
133712 What do you think the world will be like if all people speak... ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 1074
133711 Lent my AirPods to my brother ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 530
133710 The importance of working out ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 1019
133709 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 450
133708 Do school tests have any advantages? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 581
133707 Homework 12/29 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 0
133706 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 2
133705 essay 2 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 544
133704 What is the implication of having an aging population? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 920
133703 Are you more of a leader or a follower? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-08 1
133702 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-07 651
133701 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-07 277
133700 Business trip ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-07 3
133699 borrowing and landing ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-07 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04