¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

According to a survey conducted, Korea has the highest cases of stomach cancer among OECD countries.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Èñ
2023-10-31 1527

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I searched the Internet for answers. I have found one of the reasons why many Koreans are diagnosed with stomach cancer. One of the reason of stomach cancer is salty food.

Korean traditional food bases such as red pepper paste, soybean paste and soy sauce are very salty. Each is not a dangerous ingredient at all, but you use them together when you cook, which makes the food more salty, and on the other hand, it relieves each other's salty or spicy taste.

When I visited Germany, I had a hard time because it was difficult to eat German food. German food was too salty to eat for me.
What surprised me so much was the amount of salt in German food. There was less salt compared to Korean food.

I love salty, spicy and sweet food and I think almost Korean do like me.
Therefore, I think the reason that has the biggest influence on Koreans can be the salty food.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Ms. Tina!

I searched the Internet for answers.
>>> correct   
I have found one of the reasons why many Koreans are diagnosed with stomach cancer. 
>>>  correct    
One of the reason of stomach cancer is salty food.
>>> correct
>>>  OR: One of the reasons of having stomach cancer is consuming salty food. 
Korean traditional food bases such as red pepper paste, soybean paste and soy sauce are very salty. 
>>>   correct    
>>> ORKorean traditional condiments such as red pepper paste, soybean paste and soy sauce are very salty.  (CONDIMENT: a substance such as salt or ketchup that is used to add flavor to food.)
Each is not a dangerous ingredient at all, but you use them together when you cook, which makes the food more salty, and on the other hand, it relieves each other's salty or spicy taste.
>>> On it's own, each is not a dangerous ingredient at all. But if you use them together when you cook, it makes the food more salty, and on the other hand, they cancel out each other's salty or spicy taste.  
When I visited Germany, I had a hard time because it was difficult to eat German food. 
>>> correct  
German food was too salty to eat for me.
>>> correct  
What surprised me so much was the amount of salt in German food. 
>>> correct  
There was less salt compared to Korean food.
>>>correct   
I love salty, spicy and sweet food and I think almost Korean do like me.
>>> I love salty, spicy and sweet food and I think almost all Koreans are like me.  
Therefore, I think the reason that has the biggest influence on Koreans can be the salty food.
>>>   Therefore, I think the reason it is more common for Koreans can be due to the salty food.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132212 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Is having free... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 0
132211 What¡¯s one thing you could never live without and why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1736
132210 My wish ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1791
132209 Homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1
132208 Youth should not use face book ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2951
132207 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2
132206 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2172
132205 How important do you think is family ties and relations in your... ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1503
132204 What time do you usually eat your meals everyday? How do you... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1614
132203 How can you divide your time effectively between work and... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2566
132202 What do you like doing with your childhood friends whenever you... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1281
132201 homework_231103 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2474
132200 WRITING TASK: What was the fondest memory you had with your... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 4
132199 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2326
132198 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1478
132197 A valuable lesson or piece of advice you\\\'ve learned... ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 4213
132196 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1916
132195 What is something that you regret in the past that you want to... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 0
132194 03.Nov.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 1
132193 retirement ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-06 2700

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04