¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

According to a survey conducted, Korea has the highest cases of stomach cancer among OECD countries.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Èñ
2023-10-31 1567

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I searched the Internet for answers. I have found one of the reasons why many Koreans are diagnosed with stomach cancer. One of the reason of stomach cancer is salty food.

Korean traditional food bases such as red pepper paste, soybean paste and soy sauce are very salty. Each is not a dangerous ingredient at all, but you use them together when you cook, which makes the food more salty, and on the other hand, it relieves each other's salty or spicy taste.

When I visited Germany, I had a hard time because it was difficult to eat German food. German food was too salty to eat for me.
What surprised me so much was the amount of salt in German food. There was less salt compared to Korean food.

I love salty, spicy and sweet food and I think almost Korean do like me.
Therefore, I think the reason that has the biggest influence on Koreans can be the salty food.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Ms. Tina!

I searched the Internet for answers.
>>> correct   
I have found one of the reasons why many Koreans are diagnosed with stomach cancer. 
>>>  correct    
One of the reason of stomach cancer is salty food.
>>> correct
>>>  OR: One of the reasons of having stomach cancer is consuming salty food. 
Korean traditional food bases such as red pepper paste, soybean paste and soy sauce are very salty. 
>>>   correct    
>>> ORKorean traditional condiments such as red pepper paste, soybean paste and soy sauce are very salty.  (CONDIMENT: a substance such as salt or ketchup that is used to add flavor to food.)
Each is not a dangerous ingredient at all, but you use them together when you cook, which makes the food more salty, and on the other hand, it relieves each other's salty or spicy taste.
>>> On it's own, each is not a dangerous ingredient at all. But if you use them together when you cook, it makes the food more salty, and on the other hand, they cancel out each other's salty or spicy taste.  
When I visited Germany, I had a hard time because it was difficult to eat German food. 
>>> correct  
German food was too salty to eat for me.
>>> correct  
What surprised me so much was the amount of salt in German food. 
>>> correct  
There was less salt compared to Korean food.
>>>correct   
I love salty, spicy and sweet food and I think almost Korean do like me.
>>> I love salty, spicy and sweet food and I think almost all Koreans are like me.  
Therefore, I think the reason that has the biggest influence on Koreans can be the salty food.
>>>   Therefore, I think the reason it is more common for Koreans can be due to the salty food.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132554 Letter ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-20 1
132553 My two best friends °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-19 1
132552 Snow ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-19 2011
132551 If you could eat only one food for the rest of your life, what... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-19 2493
132550 What kind of boss would you want to be if you had your own... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-19 1862
132549 H.W-What is the importance of friendship? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-19 1769
132548 persuade a client or coworker to go in a different direction. ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-19 2394
132547 My weekend activities ÀÌ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-11-19 4
132546 Question ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-19 7
132545 What do you usually do after school? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-19 2541
132544 Are volunteer works special? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-19 2
132543 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-19 2
132542 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-18 2
132541 In your opinion, it it easy to change bad habits? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-18 1553
132540 Homework : unit 7 ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-11-18 6
132539 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What is your... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-18 3
132538 What¡¯s the biggest adventure you¡¯ve had in your life? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-18 1
132537 Give some examples of healthy and unhealthy snacks. When do you... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2278
132536 Writing Exercise: In 5 sentences, please write your expectations... ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2565
132535 Do you think your idea of adventure is the same as your... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04