¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

According to a survey conducted, Korea has the highest cases of stomach cancer among OECD countries.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Èñ
2023-10-31 1728

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I searched the Internet for answers. I have found one of the reasons why many Koreans are diagnosed with stomach cancer. One of the reason of stomach cancer is salty food.

Korean traditional food bases such as red pepper paste, soybean paste and soy sauce are very salty. Each is not a dangerous ingredient at all, but you use them together when you cook, which makes the food more salty, and on the other hand, it relieves each other's salty or spicy taste.

When I visited Germany, I had a hard time because it was difficult to eat German food. German food was too salty to eat for me.
What surprised me so much was the amount of salt in German food. There was less salt compared to Korean food.

I love salty, spicy and sweet food and I think almost Korean do like me.
Therefore, I think the reason that has the biggest influence on Koreans can be the salty food.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Ms. Tina!

I searched the Internet for answers.
>>> correct   
I have found one of the reasons why many Koreans are diagnosed with stomach cancer. 
>>>  correct    
One of the reason of stomach cancer is salty food.
>>> correct
>>>  OR: One of the reasons of having stomach cancer is consuming salty food. 
Korean traditional food bases such as red pepper paste, soybean paste and soy sauce are very salty. 
>>>   correct    
>>> ORKorean traditional condiments such as red pepper paste, soybean paste and soy sauce are very salty.  (CONDIMENT: a substance such as salt or ketchup that is used to add flavor to food.)
Each is not a dangerous ingredient at all, but you use them together when you cook, which makes the food more salty, and on the other hand, it relieves each other's salty or spicy taste.
>>> On it's own, each is not a dangerous ingredient at all. But if you use them together when you cook, it makes the food more salty, and on the other hand, they cancel out each other's salty or spicy taste.  
When I visited Germany, I had a hard time because it was difficult to eat German food. 
>>> correct  
German food was too salty to eat for me.
>>> correct  
What surprised me so much was the amount of salt in German food. 
>>> correct  
There was less salt compared to Korean food.
>>>correct   
I love salty, spicy and sweet food and I think almost Korean do like me.
>>> I love salty, spicy and sweet food and I think almost all Koreans are like me.  
Therefore, I think the reason that has the biggest influence on Koreans can be the salty food.
>>>   Therefore, I think the reason it is more common for Koreans can be due to the salty food.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133900 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 280
133899 Extra layers is a must today! do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1214
133898 Convenience life °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1373
133897 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 0
133896 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 0
133895 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 966
133894 What kind of house would you like to have in the future? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 975
133893 The reason why some people have lots of energy while others have... ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1644
133892 DIRECTIONS: Try to answer the tag questions shortly. ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 4
133891 Do you enjoy trying new foods, or do you prefer to stick to... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 714
133890 What can you say about the generation gap? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1621
133889 Lying doesn\'t make any value ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1269
133888 Free Writing ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1044
133887 What do you like most about IH? Share your answer in a few... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1
133886 Do you think you will have a second date? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1
133885 Free Writing ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1098
133884 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1111
133883 Seoul ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1087
133882 essay 5 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1480
133881 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1255

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04