¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-10-30 1313

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages of being a workaholic?

I think the positive side of workaholic are the efficiency and quality of work.
The reason I think so is that not workaholic people want to finish the quickly work.
But, workaholic people think they are more good quality because they have interested in work.
So some workaholic people respected to in their companies.
But in my opinion, I think it's not a good think to fall into the work too much.
It's important to work for we are company.
But, I think we don't have to neglect health and relationship with around people because work.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages of being a workaholic?


I think the positive side of workaholic are the efficiency and quality of work.
>> I think the positive sides of being a workaholic are the efficiency and quality of work.
The reason I think so is that not workaholic people want to finish the quickly work.
>> The reason I think is that non-workaholic people want to finish the work quickly.
But, workaholic people think they are more good quality because they have interested in work.
>> But, workaholic people think they are better because they are interested in working.
So some workaholic people respected to in their companies.
>> So some workaholic people are well-respected in their companies.
But in my opinion, I think it's not a good think to fall into the work too much.
>> But in my opinion, I think it's not a good idea to fall into the work too much.
It's important to work for we are company.
>> It's important to work for the company.
But, I think we don't have to neglect health and relationship with around people because work.
>> But, I think we don't have to neglect health and relationship with the people around us because work.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131852 Where do you see yourself in 5 years? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1558
131851 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°What are the... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 2
131850 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 2
131849 What are the toughest jobs in the world? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1476
131848 > Do you agree that hand written letters are considered more... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 2328
131847 What are some alternative ways to enjoy Halloween or other big... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1
131846 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 0
131845 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 0
131844 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1552
131843 WRITING TASK: Why is \'planning\' important? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 4
131842 A role model ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 2326
131841 Myeongseongsan ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1444
131840 diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1
131839 If you could live anywhere else, where would that be? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1019
131838 Homework - \'earliest memory\' ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1448
131837 What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1445
131836 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 737
131835 service ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1147
131834 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 1258
131833 20.Oct.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-23 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04