¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-10-30 1955

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages of being a workaholic?

I think the positive side of workaholic are the efficiency and quality of work.
The reason I think so is that not workaholic people want to finish the quickly work.
But, workaholic people think they are more good quality because they have interested in work.
So some workaholic people respected to in their companies.
But in my opinion, I think it's not a good think to fall into the work too much.
It's important to work for we are company.
But, I think we don't have to neglect health and relationship with around people because work.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages of being a workaholic?


I think the positive side of workaholic are the efficiency and quality of work.
>> I think the positive sides of being a workaholic are the efficiency and quality of work.
The reason I think so is that not workaholic people want to finish the quickly work.
>> The reason I think is that non-workaholic people want to finish the work quickly.
But, workaholic people think they are more good quality because they have interested in work.
>> But, workaholic people think they are better because they are interested in working.
So some workaholic people respected to in their companies.
>> So some workaholic people are well-respected in their companies.
But in my opinion, I think it's not a good think to fall into the work too much.
>> But in my opinion, I think it's not a good idea to fall into the work too much.
It's important to work for we are company.
>> It's important to work for the company.
But, I think we don't have to neglect health and relationship with around people because work.
>> But, I think we don't have to neglect health and relationship with the people around us because work.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139980 hello ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1
139979 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1
139978 Write about a memorable holiday experience. ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1354
139977 My MBTI ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1507
139976 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1404
139975 gab year ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1
139974 luggage ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1
139973 What do you do when you see someone in danger? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1498
139972 How important are cosmetics? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1612
139971 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1473
139970 What significance does Chuseok hold for you personally, and how... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1334
139969 \"character is power\" ÀÌ*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1
139968 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1483
139967 The number of \"likes\" ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1471
139966 Homework : Do you like cooking? What\'s your favorite meal to... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 5
139965 What do you think is the difference between a blind date and an... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 0
139964 What challenges do people with disability face? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1447
139963 Have you ever been so drunk you can\'t remember what you did?... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1233
139962 A corporate culture of drinking a lot ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1361
139961 How does your family celebrate Chuseok? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-19 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04