¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-10-30 2016

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages of being a workaholic?

I think the positive side of workaholic are the efficiency and quality of work.
The reason I think so is that not workaholic people want to finish the quickly work.
But, workaholic people think they are more good quality because they have interested in work.
So some workaholic people respected to in their companies.
But in my opinion, I think it's not a good think to fall into the work too much.
It's important to work for we are company.
But, I think we don't have to neglect health and relationship with around people because work.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages of being a workaholic?


I think the positive side of workaholic are the efficiency and quality of work.
>> I think the positive sides of being a workaholic are the efficiency and quality of work.
The reason I think so is that not workaholic people want to finish the quickly work.
>> The reason I think is that non-workaholic people want to finish the work quickly.
But, workaholic people think they are more good quality because they have interested in work.
>> But, workaholic people think they are better because they are interested in working.
So some workaholic people respected to in their companies.
>> So some workaholic people are well-respected in their companies.
But in my opinion, I think it's not a good think to fall into the work too much.
>> But in my opinion, I think it's not a good idea to fall into the work too much.
It's important to work for we are company.
>> It's important to work for the company.
But, I think we don't have to neglect health and relationship with around people because work.
>> But, I think we don't have to neglect health and relationship with the people around us because work.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140572 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-23 949
140571 Are there any activities you used to enjoy but no longer do? Why? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-10-23 3
140570 What makes friends different from family? ¾ç*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-23 2
140569 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 2
140568 What are the benefits of meeting new people? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 2
140567 Who do you is the nicest president in the world? Explain your... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 895
140566 What is your biggest fear for yourself? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1076
140565 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 907
140564 What factors are important to you when choosing a book to read?... ¹Ú*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 961
140563 When you buy things online, are you worried they might be... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 2
140562 I think South Korea isn\'t ready to accept the queer ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1701
140561 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 899
140560 The percentage of keeping my promise ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1085
140559 What kind of development do you think is needed in your company? ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1128
140558 Would you let your friends visit you all the time in your house?... ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1128
140557 Why do you think some people enjoy breaking rules while others... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1283
140556 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 3
140555 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1029
140554 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1135
140553 Why do teachers need to give their students an exam? ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 1063

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04