¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-10-26 2354

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think people drink alcoholic drinks?

In my opinion, the reason why there are many people drink alcoholic because, alcoholic to fill the empty atmosphere.
Sometimes, I feel empty atmosphere when I eat meal with my friends, family or alone.
So some people want to fill this atmosphere use to alcohol.
Or, their drink to raise the mood.
Because when we get drunk, it usually turns passionate.
I think that's why many people look for alcohol for the atmosphere.
But, I think it's only good when we drink in moderation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think people drink alcoholic drinks?


In my opinion, the reason why there are many people drink alcoholic because, alcoholic to fill the empty atmosphere.
>> In my opinion, the reason why there are many people who drink alcoholic beverages is because alcohol fills empty atmosphere.
Sometimes, I feel empty atmosphere when I eat meal with my friends, family or alone.
>> Sometimes, I feel an empty atmosphere when I eat meal with my friends, family or alone.
So some people want to fill this atmosphere use to alcohol.
>> So some people want to fill this atmosphere with the help of alcohol.
Or, their drink to raise the mood.
>> Or, they drink to raise the mood.
Because when we get drunk, it usually turns passionate.
>> It's because when we get drunk, we suddenly become passionate.
I think that's why many people look for alcohol for the atmosphere.
>> CORRECT!
But, I think it's only good when we drink in moderation.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
123728 job interview ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 1
123727 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 1248
123726 My childhood memories ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 2
123725 What is your opinion about teen freedom? To what extent should... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 1634
123724 Day off ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 2
123723 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 0
123722 homework ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 1594
123721 Does your country provide a good public school system? Why do... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 1941
123720 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 1383
123719 Lifespans are getting longer. How long do you expect your... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 2233
123718 Do you agree that age is just a number? ±è*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 1743
123717 Is Christmas a religious day for you? If so, what kind of... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 1590
123716 Some famous artists have used alcohol while working. Do you... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 1621
123715 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 1
123714 Homework~~ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 1974
123713 How important is freedom of the press? Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 1745
123712 Who is your favorite and least favorite Disney character? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 2
123711 What are some things about your eating habits you want to change? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 1813
123710 What kind of coffee do you want to try? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-11-22 5
123709 Have you ever returned something to the shop you bought it from?... Àü*ä ¿Ï·á 2022-11-21 1983

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04