¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-10-26 2258

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think people drink alcoholic drinks?

In my opinion, the reason why there are many people drink alcoholic because, alcoholic to fill the empty atmosphere.
Sometimes, I feel empty atmosphere when I eat meal with my friends, family or alone.
So some people want to fill this atmosphere use to alcohol.
Or, their drink to raise the mood.
Because when we get drunk, it usually turns passionate.
I think that's why many people look for alcohol for the atmosphere.
But, I think it's only good when we drink in moderation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think people drink alcoholic drinks?


In my opinion, the reason why there are many people drink alcoholic because, alcoholic to fill the empty atmosphere.
>> In my opinion, the reason why there are many people who drink alcoholic beverages is because alcohol fills empty atmosphere.
Sometimes, I feel empty atmosphere when I eat meal with my friends, family or alone.
>> Sometimes, I feel an empty atmosphere when I eat meal with my friends, family or alone.
So some people want to fill this atmosphere use to alcohol.
>> So some people want to fill this atmosphere with the help of alcohol.
Or, their drink to raise the mood.
>> Or, they drink to raise the mood.
Because when we get drunk, it usually turns passionate.
>> It's because when we get drunk, we suddenly become passionate.
I think that's why many people look for alcohol for the atmosphere.
>> CORRECT!
But, I think it's only good when we drink in moderation.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
124578 How often do you read the newspaper? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 938
124577 2.Jan.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-03 1
124576 Should people stop eating fast food? Why or why not? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 972
124575 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 0
124574 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 3
124573 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 843
124572 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 1026
124571 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 827
124570 the resolution ¹Ú*º° ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 777
124569 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 2
124568 What Disney character are you most similar to? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 1309
124567 If a movie were based on a book, would you rather read the book... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 2
124566 My favorite things about winter vacation ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 1128
124565 Answer about what is your favorite memory of 2022? Á¤*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 809
124564 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 0
124563 Monday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 1102
124562 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 0
124561 retake ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 1
124560 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 0
124559 1/2 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-01-02 746

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04