¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-10-26 1835

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think people drink alcoholic drinks?

In my opinion, the reason why there are many people drink alcoholic because, alcoholic to fill the empty atmosphere.
Sometimes, I feel empty atmosphere when I eat meal with my friends, family or alone.
So some people want to fill this atmosphere use to alcohol.
Or, their drink to raise the mood.
Because when we get drunk, it usually turns passionate.
I think that's why many people look for alcohol for the atmosphere.
But, I think it's only good when we drink in moderation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think people drink alcoholic drinks?


In my opinion, the reason why there are many people drink alcoholic because, alcoholic to fill the empty atmosphere.
>> In my opinion, the reason why there are many people who drink alcoholic beverages is because alcohol fills empty atmosphere.
Sometimes, I feel empty atmosphere when I eat meal with my friends, family or alone.
>> Sometimes, I feel an empty atmosphere when I eat meal with my friends, family or alone.
So some people want to fill this atmosphere use to alcohol.
>> So some people want to fill this atmosphere with the help of alcohol.
Or, their drink to raise the mood.
>> Or, they drink to raise the mood.
Because when we get drunk, it usually turns passionate.
>> It's because when we get drunk, we suddenly become passionate.
I think that's why many people look for alcohol for the atmosphere.
>> CORRECT!
But, I think it's only good when we drink in moderation.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128030 my favorite ride in an amusementpark ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 830
128029 homework 05.05 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 642
128028 What things do you first notice about someone\'s appearance? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 902
128027 Who has given you the best advice for some common health... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 2
128026 What is the strangest food you¡¯ve seen or eaten while on... ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 1147
128025 I hate the criminal. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 633
128024 Should an unpaid debt be a criminal offense? Why or why not? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 3
128023 In Korea, most people who retire run their own business.... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-05 1002
128022 Investing at stock is the flower of capitalism ÀÌ*¿õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 1
128021 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 0
128020 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 1420
128019 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 1
128018 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 2
128017 What is your favorite holiday and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 906
128016 What I don\'t like vegetable ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 866
128015 5/4 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 762
128014 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 1
128013 homework 05.04 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 578
128012 What are popular small businesses in your country? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 1119
128011 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-04 887

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04