¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-10-26 1545

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think people drink alcoholic drinks?

In my opinion, the reason why there are many people drink alcoholic because, alcoholic to fill the empty atmosphere.
Sometimes, I feel empty atmosphere when I eat meal with my friends, family or alone.
So some people want to fill this atmosphere use to alcohol.
Or, their drink to raise the mood.
Because when we get drunk, it usually turns passionate.
I think that's why many people look for alcohol for the atmosphere.
But, I think it's only good when we drink in moderation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think people drink alcoholic drinks?


In my opinion, the reason why there are many people drink alcoholic because, alcoholic to fill the empty atmosphere.
>> In my opinion, the reason why there are many people who drink alcoholic beverages is because alcohol fills empty atmosphere.
Sometimes, I feel empty atmosphere when I eat meal with my friends, family or alone.
>> Sometimes, I feel an empty atmosphere when I eat meal with my friends, family or alone.
So some people want to fill this atmosphere use to alcohol.
>> So some people want to fill this atmosphere with the help of alcohol.
Or, their drink to raise the mood.
>> Or, they drink to raise the mood.
Because when we get drunk, it usually turns passionate.
>> It's because when we get drunk, we suddenly become passionate.
I think that's why many people look for alcohol for the atmosphere.
>> CORRECT!
But, I think it's only good when we drink in moderation.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131186 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1367
131185 Which school subject is least favorite why? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1923
131184 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 2
131183 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1565
131182 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \" What makes... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131181 A stressful job with very high pay or a relaxing job with... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1147
131180 How do you protect your privacy at home as a young adult? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131179 HOMEWORK-230920 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131178 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1403
131177 WRITING TASK: Why is work etiquette important? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1569
131176 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1176
131175 The most dangerous country ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1436
131174 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1099
131173 What qualities do you look for in a good movie? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1429
131172 Can you name a movie or TV show that was filmed in your city or... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 0
131171 Are you a hard worker? What motivates you to work? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1
131170 Being risk taker ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1373
131169 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-20 1177
131168 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 2
131167 I don\'t like live the tallest building. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04