¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think the punishment for drunk driving should be?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2023-10-26 2062

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Of course, it should be stronger as time goes. Also, from where I sit, the government shouldn't give them a chance to drive again. Especially in South Korea, they're so generous with drunk driving. Fortunately, the punishment has been tightening. In addition to that, it should be more before an issue causes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Eric!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


Of course, it should be stronger as time goes. 
>> CORRECT!
Also, from where I sit, the government shouldn't give them a chance to drive again.
>> CORRECT!
Especially in South Korea, they're so generous with drunk driving. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> Especially in South Korea, they're so lenient with drunk driving. 
Fortunately, the punishment has been tightening. 
>> CORRECT!
In addition to that, it should be more before an issue causes.
>> In addition to that, it should be more strict before an issue causes.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
125935 HOMEWORK FOR TODAY: ESSAY: What is your favorite subject? Why? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1
125934 Homework ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1
125933 What do you do when you see discrimination? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 723
125932 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1
125931 Sleep is indispensable meaning of existence to me. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 674
125930 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 0
125929 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 855
125928 How can dissatisfied South Koreans be content/satisfied? Share... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 6
125927 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 749
125926 Homework ¼Û*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1
125925 Do you like animated movies? Are they only for kids? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 892
125924 Smartphones are taking more and more of our attention. Are you... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1021
125923 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 3
125922 Collecting coins ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1
125921 homework;) ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1
125920 Homework ¹è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1035
125919 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 1
125918 What book had the biggest impact on your life and why? ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 762
125917 Worst weather is rainning. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 944
125916 help ? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-02-23 643

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04