¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 10.25

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-10-25 1588

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Is obesity a disease? Why or why not?

I think severe obesity is a disease.
I'm ashamed. Because I am overweight.
So, I'm trying not to become obese.
The reason I don't want to be obese is obese can cause many disease.
Severe obesity is have various diseases in the body like a high blood pressure.
And if I have a severe obesity, it's can interfere daily life because the body is heavy.
So, we have to maintain the healthy weight.
We need to exercise and good eating habits for proper weight.
To sum up, I think severe obesity is can dangerous body.
But severe underweight also is not good to body.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Is obesity a disease? Why or why not?


I think severe obesity is a disease.
>> CORRECT!
I'm ashamed. Because I am overweight.
>> I'm ashamed because I am overweight.
So, I'm trying not to become obese.
>> CORRECT!
The reason I don't want to be obese is obese can cause many disease.
>> The reason I don't want to be obese is obesity can cause many disease.
Severe obesity is have various diseases in the body like a high blood pressure.
>> Severe obesity can result to various diseases in the body like high blood pressure.
And if I have a severe obesity, it's can interfere daily life because the body is heavy.
>> And if I have a severe obesity, it can interfere with daily life because my body is heavy.
So, we have to maintain the healthy weight.
>> CORRECT!
We need to exercise and good eating habits for proper weight.
>> We need to exercise and to have good eating habits for proper weight management.
To sum up, I think severe obesity is can dangerous body.
>> To sum up, I think severe obesity is dangerous to our body.
But severe underweight also is not good to body.
>> But being severely underweight is also not good to the body.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130477 What do you think is the most interesting nonliving thing your... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1
130476 Would you rather ride a bicycle or go roller skating? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1526
130475 How does curiosity help in learning? È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1892
130474 What do you like to eat for breakfast? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1600
130473 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 0
130472 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 0
130471 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 2563
130470 What can you cook? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1658
130469 What kinds of pants do you like wearing? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1783
130468 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 2848
130467 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 2376
130466 Write about your most interesting travel experience. Where did... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 0
130465 8/9 homework °­*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 0
130464 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 3
130463 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 2515
130462 The reason why car is kept from entering to center of city ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 2426
130461 Top of job in the world ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1806
130460 Writing Exercise: Describe a situation where you had to adapt to... ¼­*ÅÃ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 2173
130459 What thing\'s in your home couldn\'t you live without? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1924
130458 Do you believe that first impression lasts? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 2202

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04