¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 10.25

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-10-25 859

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Is obesity a disease? Why or why not?

I think severe obesity is a disease.
I'm ashamed. Because I am overweight.
So, I'm trying not to become obese.
The reason I don't want to be obese is obese can cause many disease.
Severe obesity is have various diseases in the body like a high blood pressure.
And if I have a severe obesity, it's can interfere daily life because the body is heavy.
So, we have to maintain the healthy weight.
We need to exercise and good eating habits for proper weight.
To sum up, I think severe obesity is can dangerous body.
But severe underweight also is not good to body.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Is obesity a disease? Why or why not?


I think severe obesity is a disease.
>> CORRECT!
I'm ashamed. Because I am overweight.
>> I'm ashamed because I am overweight.
So, I'm trying not to become obese.
>> CORRECT!
The reason I don't want to be obese is obese can cause many disease.
>> The reason I don't want to be obese is obesity can cause many disease.
Severe obesity is have various diseases in the body like a high blood pressure.
>> Severe obesity can result to various diseases in the body like high blood pressure.
And if I have a severe obesity, it's can interfere daily life because the body is heavy.
>> And if I have a severe obesity, it can interfere with daily life because my body is heavy.
So, we have to maintain the healthy weight.
>> CORRECT!
We need to exercise and good eating habits for proper weight.
>> We need to exercise and to have good eating habits for proper weight management.
To sum up, I think severe obesity is can dangerous body.
>> To sum up, I think severe obesity is dangerous to our body.
But severe underweight also is not good to body.
>> But being severely underweight is also not good to the body.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135142 Compare traveling alone with traveling with friends or family.... ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-01 630
135141 How does Korean entertainment, like K-pop and K-dramas,... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-01 1
135140 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is following a... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-03-01 1
135139 Why do you think some people hate dancing? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-01 656
135138 Don¡¯t you have any homework? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-03-01 811
135137 My greatest strength ¼Û*³ª ¿Ï·á 2024-03-01 2
135136 How important is physical attractiveness in a relationship? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-01 836
135135 When can you start working with us? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-01 809
135134 If you had $100,000, where would you go on vacation? Why? È£*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-01 541
135133 What hobbies are popular in your country? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-01 7
135132 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-03-01 836
135131 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 10
135130 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 481
135129 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 2
135128 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 0
135127 Homework ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 3
135126 homework 02.29 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 801
135125 Homework Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 793
135124 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 0
135123 What is the moon like? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-02-29 1082

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04