¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 10.25

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-10-25 869

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Is obesity a disease? Why or why not?

I think severe obesity is a disease.
I'm ashamed. Because I am overweight.
So, I'm trying not to become obese.
The reason I don't want to be obese is obese can cause many disease.
Severe obesity is have various diseases in the body like a high blood pressure.
And if I have a severe obesity, it's can interfere daily life because the body is heavy.
So, we have to maintain the healthy weight.
We need to exercise and good eating habits for proper weight.
To sum up, I think severe obesity is can dangerous body.
But severe underweight also is not good to body.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Is obesity a disease? Why or why not?


I think severe obesity is a disease.
>> CORRECT!
I'm ashamed. Because I am overweight.
>> I'm ashamed because I am overweight.
So, I'm trying not to become obese.
>> CORRECT!
The reason I don't want to be obese is obese can cause many disease.
>> The reason I don't want to be obese is obesity can cause many disease.
Severe obesity is have various diseases in the body like a high blood pressure.
>> Severe obesity can result to various diseases in the body like high blood pressure.
And if I have a severe obesity, it's can interfere daily life because the body is heavy.
>> And if I have a severe obesity, it can interfere with daily life because my body is heavy.
So, we have to maintain the healthy weight.
>> CORRECT!
We need to exercise and good eating habits for proper weight.
>> We need to exercise and to have good eating habits for proper weight management.
To sum up, I think severe obesity is can dangerous body.
>> To sum up, I think severe obesity is dangerous to our body.
But severe underweight also is not good to body.
>> But being severely underweight is also not good to the body.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135310 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 540
135309 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 407
135308 How do you think transportation will change in the future? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 600
135307 homework ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 1
135306 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 1108
135305 the biggest challenge or struggle °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 730
135304 Discuss the importance of friendship in your life. Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 1075
135303 Best known ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 0
135302 Beauty ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 607
135301 Describe the last concert that you went to ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 485
135300 Can you name three jobs you can be good at? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 1
135299 greeting ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 573
135298 Homelessness ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 492
135297 What do you think of people who really take care of their things? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 6
135296 Why do some people prefer to buy imported products? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 0
135295 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 3
135294 Do you prefer to eat meals alone, with one other person or lots... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 507
135293 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 618
135292 Why it is important to be receptive to other people\'s opinions? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 734
135291 How do you hide your anger? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-06 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04