¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 10.25

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-10-25 1126

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Is obesity a disease? Why or why not?

I think severe obesity is a disease.
I'm ashamed. Because I am overweight.
So, I'm trying not to become obese.
The reason I don't want to be obese is obese can cause many disease.
Severe obesity is have various diseases in the body like a high blood pressure.
And if I have a severe obesity, it's can interfere daily life because the body is heavy.
So, we have to maintain the healthy weight.
We need to exercise and good eating habits for proper weight.
To sum up, I think severe obesity is can dangerous body.
But severe underweight also is not good to body.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Is obesity a disease? Why or why not?


I think severe obesity is a disease.
>> CORRECT!
I'm ashamed. Because I am overweight.
>> I'm ashamed because I am overweight.
So, I'm trying not to become obese.
>> CORRECT!
The reason I don't want to be obese is obese can cause many disease.
>> The reason I don't want to be obese is obesity can cause many disease.
Severe obesity is have various diseases in the body like a high blood pressure.
>> Severe obesity can result to various diseases in the body like high blood pressure.
And if I have a severe obesity, it's can interfere daily life because the body is heavy.
>> And if I have a severe obesity, it can interfere with daily life because my body is heavy.
So, we have to maintain the healthy weight.
>> CORRECT!
We need to exercise and good eating habits for proper weight.
>> We need to exercise and to have good eating habits for proper weight management.
To sum up, I think severe obesity is can dangerous body.
>> To sum up, I think severe obesity is dangerous to our body.
But severe underweight also is not good to body.
>> But being severely underweight is also not good to the body.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136952 What are some popular sweets in your culture? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-06 1563
136951 dialogue ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-06 1
136950 How do you feel when people say that you look good? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-06 1321
136949 2024.05.03 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-05-06 1063
136948 How\'s your work efficiency? Write the factors that affect your... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-06 2
136947 3.May.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-06 0
136946 What do you often do on Children\'s Day? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-06 1
136945 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 0
136944 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 0
136943 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 0
136942 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 1
136941 Which products would you like to sell if you had your own store? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 1294
136940 my favorite animal ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 859
136939 Have you ever experienced stiffness? If yes, how did you handle... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 1146
136938 Gossip ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 2
136937 Could you tell me about your family? Write at least three things... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 1159
136936 Who do you think is the worst superhero? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-05 925
136935 Describe a good memory you had when you were young. ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-04 985
136934 homework 05.03 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-05-03 1179
136933 Complete each sentence using the correct correlative conjunction... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-03 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04