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Homework - \'earliest memory\'

작성자: 이*주
2023-10-23 867

회원님의 영작문

Wow,, actually, i know the first that there is a homework every class.
so.. i saw the homework's topic. that was 'earliest memory'
honestly, i can't understand this question. so i'm gonna tell about anything.

What i can remember when i was elemental student. that time, i played a lot of games with my school friends.
i'm talking, PC game in the PC room, real soccer game and real basketball game. you name it.
so that was really fun and happy.

i remembered one more. there are two my friends in the elemental school.
i'm gonna call my friends A and B.
One day, they went to fight to the school playground.. so i went to look around them.
As soon as i got there, A floated in the air and kicked B.
B was knocked down by his kick.
everyone in there was surprised because B wan not a weak person.
since something surprising happened that time, i can remember that time.

Than you for reading my writing.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

I enjoyed reading your composition. You wrote something that was directly relevant to the question. I simply made some corrections to your sentences so you can polish them next time. In addition, I found the second memory funny, and instances like that happen typically in elementary and middle schools. It's a good thing you're not involved in that trouble. 

-Chammy

Wow,, actually, i know the first that there is a homework every class.

>> Wow! Actually, I knew from the start that there would be homework in every class.

so.. i saw the homework's topic. that was 'earliest memory'

>> So, I saw the homework topic that was about 'earliest memory'

honestly, i can't understand this question. so i'm gonna tell about anything.
>> Honestly, I can't understand this question. So, I'm gonna tell you about anything.

What i can remember when i was elemental student. that time, i played a lot of games with my school friends.

>> What I can remember when I was an elementary student, that time I played a lot of games with my school friends.

i'm talking, PC game in the PC room, real soccer game and real basketball game. you name it.

>> I’m talking about, PC game in the PC room, a real soccer game, and a real basketball game. You name it.

so that was really fun and happy.
>>So that was really fun and happy.
i remembered one more. there are two my friends in the elemental school.

>> I remembered one more. There are two of my friends in the elementary school.

i'm gonna call my friends A and B.

>>I’m gonna call my friends A and B.

One day, they went to fight to the school playground.. so i went to look around them.

>>One day, they got into a fight on the school playground. So, I went to look around them.

As soon as i got there, A floated in the air and kicked B.

>>As soon as I got there, A floated in the air and kicked B.

B was knocked down by his kick.

>>Correct
everyone in there was surprised because B wan not a weak person.

>> Everyone in there was surprised because B is not a weak person.

since something surprising happened that time, i can remember that time.
>> Since it happened, I cannot forget that time.
Than you for reading my writing.

>>Thank you for reading my writing.

OR

>> Thank you for reading my composition.

 


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첨삭이 가능하며,

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