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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Some people have suggested that helping needy people is an important part of being a good citizen. D

작성자: 정*림
2023-10-21 1795

회원님의 영작문

Some agree.Am I in a position to help the poor? I think this part is important. This position is relative, but it should not interfere with my life when I share what I have with someone else. Otherwise, everyone will be poor.If I am in a position to help, it is important to help the poor. The world lives together. The gap between rich and poor will eventually lead to rebellion, and unilateral accumulation of wealth will eventually become a problem for society. Therefore, it is important to help the poor.Even if I have everything now, don't forget that someday I may become a poor and needy person.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Ye Lim,

Your perspective on helping needy people as an important aspect of being a good citizen is quite insightful. You raise the important point that the ability to help is relative and should not negatively affect your own life. Sharing what you have is a way to prevent widespread poverty and social problems caused by extreme wealth gaps. Your reminder that circumstances can change, and we might also need help someday is a valuable insight.

~Teacher Cathy

 

Some agree.

>>Some people agree.

Am I in a position to help the poor?

>>CORRECT

OR>>Do I have the ability to support those in need?

I think this part is important.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I believe this part is crucial.

This position is relative, but it should not interfere with my life when I share what I have with someone else.

>>CORRECT

OR>>The matter of this position is relative, but it shouldn't disrupt my life when I choose to share what I have with someone else.

Otherwise, everyone will be poor.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Otherwise, poverty will affect everyone.

If I am in a position to help, it is important to help the poor.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Helping the poor is crucial if I have the means to do so.

The world lives together.

>>CORRECT

OR>>The world is united.

The gap between rich and poor will eventually lead to rebellion, and unilateral accumulation of wealth will eventually become a problem for society.

>>CORRECT

OR>>The disparity between the wealthy and the less fortunate can result in uprisings, and the unchecked accumulation of riches can pose a societal issue over time.

Therefore, it is important to help the poor.

>>CORRECT

OR>>That's why helping poor people is very important.

Even if I have everything now, don't forget that someday I may become a poor and needy person.

>>CORRECT

OR>>While I currently possess everything, it's important to remember that I might experience times of poverty and need in the future.

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