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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Give simple steps of conserving water consumption in a few sentences.

작성자: 이*주
2023-10-18 1745

회원님의 영작문

Before starting the homework, I apologize for I missed your call 3 times. It's my bad:(
Back to essay, the one thing that conserving water I do every day is not letting the faucet run while brushing my teeth.
To be honest, I cannot believe this small habit make saving lots of water so that I googled it.
Surprisingly, the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) reported you can save as much as 15 to 30 liters of water just by turning off the faucet while brushing your teeth twice a day.

This article gives me some motivation of saving water and I searched for more method that can be easily used in real life.
Put a plastic bottle that fully filled with water in toilet tank, safely away from the operating mechanism.
This prevents waste of water when flush the toilet to using less water.
The other way is take shower quickly as possible as you can because a typical shower uses 15 to 18 liters of water a minute.
Maybe I need to shorten time to take my bath.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello there, Hyeon Ju!

I hope that your sleeping pattern will be better tonight. Sometimes, a good physical exercise during the day makes us sleep better at night too. Nevertheless, that was fine, no worries.

Since you mentioned that there are 15-30 galloons of water that can be saved each day, this means that individually, we are wasting this amount of water daily. We are fortunate that water is produced via precipitation in the form of rain, snow, among others. Yet, in a country like the Philippines, it can be scarce even if we are surrounded by seas and oceans. We cannot drink sea water. So, fresh water can be challenging in some places especially during drought or dry season.

The basic rule is to turn off the faucet or any water source when not in use. Fix leaking pipes or fresh water sources and make sure that busted lines are reported for repair at once. Flushing the toilet after more than one use at home can also be done (except if your brother's urine stinks ^^).

By controlling the pressure of the water on the faucet, we can also reduce consistent water waste. These and more simple tips make big differences.

If you skip taking a shower today, that means you did not go out of your house, it helps as well! ^^

Anyway, thank you for sharing your very useful tips on saving water. 

Some of the grammar suggestions are inserting 'the', plural form of nouns, etc. Please read and analyze them well. You did a great job!

See you on Friday!

-T. Donna~

Before starting the homework, I apologize for I missed your call 3 times. It's my bad:(
>> Correct!

Back to essay, the one thing that conserving water I do every day is not letting the faucet run while brushing my teeth.
>> Back to the essay, the one thing that I do to conserve water every day is not letting the faucet run while brushing my teeth.

To be honest, I cannot believe this small habit make saving lots of water so that I googled it.
>> Correct!
Or: Googled

Surprisingly, the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) reported you can save as much as 15 to 30 liters of water just by turning off the faucet while brushing your teeth twice a day.
>> Surprisingly, the United States Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) reported that you can save as much as 15 to 30 liters of water just by turning off the faucet while brushing your teeth twice a day. Very good sentence!

This article gives me some motivation of saving water and I searched for more method that can be easily used in real life.
>>This article gives me some motivation of saving water and I searched for more methods that can be easily used in real life. Good sentence!

Put a plastic bottle that fully filled with water in toilet tank, safely away from the operating mechanism.
>> Put a plastic bottle that is fully filled with water in toilet tank, safely away from the operating mechanism.

This prevents waste of water when flush the toilet to using less water.
>> This prevents the waste of water when flushing the toilet to use less water.

The other way is take shower quickly as possible as you can because a typical shower uses 15 to 18 liters of water a minute.
>> The other way is taking a shower (as quickly as possible/ as you can) because a typical shower uses 15 to 18 liters of water a minute.

Maybe I need to shorten time to take my bath.
>> Maybe I need to shorten the time to take my bath.
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