¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

human and war

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-10-16 1277

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is impossible to overcome wars even we have UN in the world for keeping our peace.

Every countries persue their own interests and benefit first even they deprive of something of other country.

We can't remove in the world because dictators are increasing more and more unfortunately like Putine, Xijinping and Hamas and so on.

We should look out destorted and blind faithfu belief toward religion.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for your homework, Lily!

Keep going and never give up!

-Hanna ^^

It is impossible to overcome wars even we have UN in the world for keeping our peace.

>>It is impossible to overcome wars even though we have the UN in the world to keep our peace.
Every countries persue their own interests and benefit first even they deprive of something of other country.

>>Every country pursues its own interests and benefits first, even if it means depriving another country of something. 
We can't remove in the world because dictators are increasing more and more unfortunately like Putine, Xijinping and Hamas and so on.

>>We can't eradicate this issue in the world because dictators are increasing more and more, unfortunately, like Putin, Xi Jinping, Hamas, and so on.
We should look out destorted and blind faithfu belief toward religion.

>>We should be wary of distorted and blind faith in religion.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131372 Where do you envision yourself in terms of your career in the... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 2086
131371 Would you rather play video games or read books all day?ᩚ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 2010
131370 Do you like meeting new people? ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 1448
131369 Who in the world do you think possesses the greatest leadership... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 1
131368 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 2
131367 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°The most... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 3
131366 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 0
131365 homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 974
131364 WRITING TASK: Are you satisfied with the supermarkets in your... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 2
131363 If you had a company, will you hire a professional or an amateur... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 2
131362 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 0
131361 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 0
131360 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 0
131359 231002- HOMEWORK ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 2
131358 homework °í*ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 1265
131357 230927- HOMEWORK ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-02 1
131356 When do you prefer to have a family gathering? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-01 1331
131355 What Korean snack would you highly recommend to foreign people?... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-01 1
131354 Have you used a ride-sharing service, or do you prefer to be the... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-01 0
131353 How do Koreans normally celebrte Chuseok? Write as much detail... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-01 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04