¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

human and war

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-10-16 1417

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is impossible to overcome wars even we have UN in the world for keeping our peace.

Every countries persue their own interests and benefit first even they deprive of something of other country.

We can't remove in the world because dictators are increasing more and more unfortunately like Putine, Xijinping and Hamas and so on.

We should look out destorted and blind faithfu belief toward religion.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for your homework, Lily!

Keep going and never give up!

-Hanna ^^

It is impossible to overcome wars even we have UN in the world for keeping our peace.

>>It is impossible to overcome wars even though we have the UN in the world to keep our peace.
Every countries persue their own interests and benefit first even they deprive of something of other country.

>>Every country pursues its own interests and benefits first, even if it means depriving another country of something. 
We can't remove in the world because dictators are increasing more and more unfortunately like Putine, Xijinping and Hamas and so on.

>>We can't eradicate this issue in the world because dictators are increasing more and more, unfortunately, like Putin, Xi Jinping, Hamas, and so on.
We should look out destorted and blind faithfu belief toward religion.

>>We should be wary of distorted and blind faith in religion.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133241 Hoework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 1321
133240 Skin color ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1016
133239 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 2
133238 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1
133237 What do you do at night that is different from during the day? Àü*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 2
133236 IELTS TASK2(1) body2 and conclusion ÃÖ*¸ù ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1019
133235 IELTS TASK2(1) introduce and body1 ÃÖ*¸ù ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 976
133234 IELTS TASK1 ÃÖ*¸ù ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1
133233 What toys did you really like when you were little, and why do... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 0
133232 homework 12.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1106
133231 Would you rather sleep late every day or get up early every... ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 834
133230 What\'s your thought on having 3 days of weekend and 4 weekdays? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1
133229 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 2469
133228 What can people do to stop cyber-bullying? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 4
133227 How to be good at drawing? Provide at least three sentences... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 0
133226 Do you think being a professional dancer would be a good job? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 2
133225 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What would you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 0
133224 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 0
133223 Is life complicated? ÀÓ*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1140
133222 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1009

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04