¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*È­
2023-10-16 1320

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

A hobby is having time just for yourself. When you focus on your inner interests and take the time to enjoy them, you gain peace of mind and feel satisfied, which gives you vitality in your work and life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi again, Eliana!
Your diligence is highly appreciated. You are one of those students who love doing your homework. Keep it up, all your effort you do gives way to your great improvement.
Aki~

A hobby is having time just for yourself. 
>>> Having a hobby means having time to yourself. It's a way to relax, unwind, and do something you enjoy

When you focus on your inner interests and take the time to enjoy them, you gain peace of mind and feel satisfied, which gives you vitality in your work and life.
>>>  CORRECT!
OR  >>> When you take the time to focus on your inner interests and enjoy them, you gain peace of mind and satisfaction. This leads to vitality in both your work and personal life.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131054 homework 09.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 950
131053 What\'s your thought on tipping in a fast-food restaurant? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 4
131052 My criminal experience. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1200
131051 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 0
131050 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 0
131049 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 2
131048 What makes you want to go to school every day? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1161
131047 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1946
131046 Reason ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 980
131045 Are you so close to any of your friends that you consider them... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 0
131044 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 2077
131043 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1415
131042 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1178
131041 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What are you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1
131040 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 2170
131039 Do you think that it is a good or bad habit for young people to... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1742
131038 Name two (2) advantages and two (2) disadvantages of traveling... ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1188
131037 HOMEWORK-230914 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1
131036 What level of English would satisfy you? What learning goals do... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1
131035 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 1670

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04