¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*È­
2023-10-16 1263

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

A hobby is having time just for yourself. When you focus on your inner interests and take the time to enjoy them, you gain peace of mind and feel satisfied, which gives you vitality in your work and life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi again, Eliana!
Your diligence is highly appreciated. You are one of those students who love doing your homework. Keep it up, all your effort you do gives way to your great improvement.
Aki~

A hobby is having time just for yourself. 
>>> Having a hobby means having time to yourself. It's a way to relax, unwind, and do something you enjoy

When you focus on your inner interests and take the time to enjoy them, you gain peace of mind and feel satisfied, which gives you vitality in your work and life.
>>>  CORRECT!
OR  >>> When you take the time to focus on your inner interests and enjoy them, you gain peace of mind and satisfaction. This leads to vitality in both your work and personal life.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131618 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2
131617 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2
131616 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1373
131615 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 0
131614 What do you think Mark Twain meant when he said, ¡°Never let... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 0
131613 Nothing is fixed °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2
131612 What is your favorite park and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1900
131611 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Name a fairy... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2
131610 What are the most common causes of certain diseases? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1351
131609 WRITING TASK: If they made a movie about your life, what kind of... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 6
131608 Why is honesty so difficult at times? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 3
131607 Who is always there to help you? ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2078
131606 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2311
131605 smoke problem Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1262
131604 test title Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 2
131603 Why is English fluency significant for you? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 4
131602 HOMEWORK- 231012 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1
131601 trust ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1422
131600 homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 6
131599 11.Oct.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-12 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04