¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 10.13

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-10-13 1557

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What is the worst thing about computers?

I think computer and internet are one of the best inventions.
Now we have personal computer and smartphones.
Using this, we can work, internet community, hobbies, shopping and search the information.
But if it's too much, everything is bad.
I think the worst thing about computer is internet addiction.
Internet addiction's examples are include mental health, health problems.
And if they don't use internet, they feel anxious.
Severe people can't live a normal life.
So I think internet addiction is a worst thing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What is the worst thing about computers?


I think computer and internet are one of the best inventions.
>> CORRECT!
Now we have personal computer and smartphones.
>> Now we have personal computers and smartphones.
Using this, we can work, internet community, hobbies, shopping and search the information.
>> Using this, we are able to work, talk with the internet community, do our hobbies, go shopping, and search information.
But if it's too much, everything is bad.
>> CORRECT!
I think the worst thing about computer is internet addiction.
>> I think the worst thing about computers is internet addiction.
Internet addiction's examples are include mental health, health problems.
>> Internet addiction result to problems with our mental health and physical health.
And if they don't use internet, they feel anxious.
>> And if they don't use the internet, they feel anxious.
Severe people can't live a normal life.
>> People who are severely addicted to it can't live a normal life.
So I think internet addiction is a worst thing.
>> So I think internet addiction is the worst thing.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131991 Do you think dreams can be explained scientifically? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-28 1411
131990 A Kenyan proverb says: \"Having a good discussion is like having... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-28 2
131989 home work ±è*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-10-28 1813
131988 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-28 2
131987 How do you want to spend your free time? ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-10-28 2031
131986 What is the most difficult part of studying English? ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-10-28 1634
131985 How do you deal with days when you don\'t feel like working out? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 2462
131984 The most important things my parents taught me ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 1326
131983 homework 10.27 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 1962
131982 A person you know is planning to move to your town or city. What... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 0
131981 What do you think is the worst sleeping disorder? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 1632
131980 How much child support is enough in South Korea? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 1
131979 Our accent ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 2031
131978 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 3518
131977 What is a very important skill a person should learn in order to... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 0
131976 Homework ¾È*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 2044
131975 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 2
131974 . ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 3
131973 Do you think all world leaders are intelligent? Á¤*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 1808
131972 Understanding skills and empathy ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 1186

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04