¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 10.13

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-10-13 816

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What is the worst thing about computers?

I think computer and internet are one of the best inventions.
Now we have personal computer and smartphones.
Using this, we can work, internet community, hobbies, shopping and search the information.
But if it's too much, everything is bad.
I think the worst thing about computer is internet addiction.
Internet addiction's examples are include mental health, health problems.
And if they don't use internet, they feel anxious.
Severe people can't live a normal life.
So I think internet addiction is a worst thing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What is the worst thing about computers?


I think computer and internet are one of the best inventions.
>> CORRECT!
Now we have personal computer and smartphones.
>> Now we have personal computers and smartphones.
Using this, we can work, internet community, hobbies, shopping and search the information.
>> Using this, we are able to work, talk with the internet community, do our hobbies, go shopping, and search information.
But if it's too much, everything is bad.
>> CORRECT!
I think the worst thing about computer is internet addiction.
>> I think the worst thing about computers is internet addiction.
Internet addiction's examples are include mental health, health problems.
>> Internet addiction result to problems with our mental health and physical health.
And if they don't use internet, they feel anxious.
>> And if they don't use the internet, they feel anxious.
Severe people can't live a normal life.
>> People who are severely addicted to it can't live a normal life.
So I think internet addiction is a worst thing.
>> So I think internet addiction is the worst thing.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131730 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 551
131729 Home work ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 408
131728 Saving water, reducing disposable products, and using public... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 709
131727 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 2
131726 globalization is a phenomenon in which people from many... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 502
131725 homework: I love you, teacher :) À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 536
131724 If you could have it your way, how would you like to spend your... ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 949
131723 homework ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 1
131722 plastic ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 737
131721 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 567
131720 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 3
131719 homework 2023.10.18 ¾È*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 477
131718 yesterday homework. ¾È*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 1764
131717 Graduation picture day ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 832
131716 From what you\'ve heard, what impression do most people have on... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-18 3
131715 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 723
131714 homework 10.17 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 599
131713 Why do some countries do better at certain sports than others? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 1
131712 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 1
131711 unit 1. homework ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04