¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

231013 Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çý
2023-10-13 1447

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q. What's your favorite food to have on the weekend?
A. These days there is popular snack in korea. The name is Thanghuru. It is melting sugar on the fruit Skewer. It became popular from the youtube with twinkle visuals and ASMR. So some peoples hate that Because it¡¯s so sweet very much. But I like that and Most my friends also like that. So when i had plan to meet my friends, i most ate thanghuru after meal. How about you? Did you try that?

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Su Hye!
Unfortunately, I haven't tried it.
I would like to because I have a sweet tooth.
Anyway, thank you for your effort today.
I hope you have a nice weekend.
Try to review the corrections below.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
These days there is popular snack in korea. 
>> These days, there is a popular snack in Korea. 
The name is Thanghuru. 
>> Correct
It is melting sugar on the fruit Skewer. 
>> It is melted sugar on a fruit skewer.
It became popular from the youtube with twinkle visuals and ASMR. 
>> It became popular through YouTube because of twinkling visuals and ASMR. 
So some peoples hate that Because it¡¯s so sweet very much. 
>> Some people hate it because it's too sweet for them. 
But I like that and Most my friends also like that. 
>> However I like it and most of my friends like it as well. 
So when i had plan to meet my friends, i most ate thanghuru after meal. 
>> So, I usually have thanghuru after my meal whenever I meet my friends. 
How about you? 
>> Correct
Did you try that?
>> Have you tried it?
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128843 homework 06.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 510
128842 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 1
128841 Skin color ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 2
128840 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 1603
128839 Why do most people these days prefer online shopping? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 2
128838 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 635
128837 How do you make new friends ? Is it easy or hard for you? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 459
128836 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 195
128835 Diffrence between talent and skill ÀÌ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 357
128834 What is the most popular sport in your country? Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 330
128833 What do I think to eat convenient store lunch boxes for lunch? ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 334
128832 In my diary! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 519
128831 What will you do today? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 0
128830 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 560
128829 How do shared interests foster connections between people? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 2
128828 Do you normally go to one doctor in particular or any available... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-06-14 504
128827 Hello~ ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 3
128826 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 226
128825 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 0
128824 Home work Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-13 694

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04