¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 10.12

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-10-12 1486

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why is sanitation important when it comes to food preparation?

Sanitation is also important because food is out essential element.
When we need the process of cooking food clean, cooking tools also need to be clean.
The reason why, food goes into our bodies.
If the food hygiene is too bad, our bodies can get diseases like a food poisoning.
This disease can be dangerous to weak healthy people.
So, for health, we should clean cook food, and where we eat food location is also important.
The problem is, some people still don't follow sanitation.
So some people don't like eating at restaurants.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why is sanitation important when it comes to food preparation?


Sanitation is also important because food is out essential element.
>> Sanitation is also important because food is an essential element for survival.
When we need the process of cooking food clean, cooking tools also need to be clean.
>> CORRECT!
The reason why, food goes into our bodies.
>> The reason it that food goes into our bodies.
If the food hygiene is too bad, our bodies can get diseases like a food poisoning.
>> If the food hygiene is too bad, our bodies can get diseases like food poisoning.
This disease can be dangerous to weak healthy people.
>> This disease can be dangerous to people with weak immunity.
So, for health, we should clean cook food, and where we eat food location is also important.
>> So, for health, we should make sure that everything is clean before cooking it, and the food stalls' location is also important.
The problem is, some people still don't follow sanitation.
>> CORRECT!
So some people don't like eating at restaurants.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130727 Avoiding and choosing the group ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1098
130726 Would you rather live in a house or an apartment? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1541
130725 What do you do when you hear your name pop up in other people¡¯s... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 2152
130724 How many hours do you spend reading in a week? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 0
130723 ESSAY ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 2
130722 Did you have any interactions with the attendees that stood out... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1
130721 9/1 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1085
130720 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-04 1075
130719 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 1541
130718 homwork Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 794
130717 homework-230901 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 1
130716 How do you choose where to go? Are you inspired by other... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 0
130715 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 3
130714 Promoting ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 1495
130713 Hi, Diviana °­*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 1
130712 homwork Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 869
130711 homwork Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 1302
130710 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 925
130709 Do you want to change anything on your appearance? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 1186
130708 How similar or different are you from your siblings? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-03 1045

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04