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smoke problem

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¾È
2023-10-12 564

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think smoking is very harmful for smokers and people around them. So I argue that smoking in public must be regulated strongly. Someone say smokers have the right to smoke whenever and wherever they want. But, the right of non-smokers who are harmed their lungs is more important than smokers right. Because they don¡¯t want to smell cigarette scent and harm their lung. I think to place the smokers room is better solution to this problem

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Soo An!
This is an acceptable first attempt for essay writing.
Check out the patterns below.
The subject-verb agreement and the direct patterns are commonly used in these types of writing.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I think smoking is very harmful for smokers and people around them. 
>> Correct
So I argue that smoking in public must be regulated strongly. 
>> So, I am of the opinion that smoking in public must be strongly regulated.
Someone say smokers have the right to smoke whenever and wherever they want. 
>> Some people say smokers have the right to smoke whenever and wherever they want. 
But, the right of non-smokers who are harmed their lungs is more important than smokers right. 
>> However, the right of non-smokers whose lungs are being harmed is more important than the smokers' right. 
Because they don¡¯t want to smell cigarette scent and harm their lung. 
>> It's because they don't want to smell like cigarettes and they also don't want to harm their lungs.
I think to place the smokers room is better solution to this problem
>> I think a better solution to this problem is for smokers to just smoke privately in their own rooms. 
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