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영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Homework

작성자: 김*우
2023-10-11 1042

회원님의 영작문

Hello.
I was so exhausted yesterday, so I postponed my class today to sleep more.
As I expected, there were lots of patients and administrative work yesterday.
I almost passed out.
After our clinic closed, there was a repair construction to fix the water leak.
Since my herpetic pain was increased, I didn't sleep well last night, nevertheless, I spent this morning to watch a drama "Mask girl" with my wife.
It was very interesting.
I attended my guitar class after a long time, and it was very useful as before.
Since there was a video shooting for aesthetic commercial platform, I visited a make-up shop.
And, I took a video for around 1.5 hours.
Although my wife and I had to be cautious about blood glucose, we ordered a chicken and ate all of it deliciously.
I think we deserved it because we were out of energy.
There was one more thing.
My guppies gave birth many babies, so I gave some of them to my friend who cultivate turtles.
I hope I returned my energy tomorrow.
See you in class.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi there, Dr. Kim!

I am glad that you are taking some time off for very good reasons. After all, your health matters most since you cure and make sure that your family and patients are well-taken cared of. Slacking off is one of the best rewards we can give ourselves sometimes.

By now, the leak has been fixed and you will hear no noise from the repairs. Just hope that it will never happen again. 

Mask Girl is intriguing. I shall check this out soon when my schedule is free. 

So you played the guitar once again. This activity is joyful and you can derive energy from music.

Your video shoots are getting more and more each time. I guess that we are only waiting for some time so that you can play your lead role as an actor soon. I am excited to see you in the character as a genius doctor who saved the world from massive destruction. ^^

I am the wrong person to say this because I do not even go to a doctor, however, I always wish you and your wife good health and strength to take care of your kids. This is easier said than done. It is always tempting to order online and sit on a couch and enjoy tv with some snacks.

Welcome to your new school of guppies! Your little girls must love to see them born!

Overall, it was a well-spent day off with you. Your busy clinic days are ahead so lock and load! 

You had smooth transitions in telling your stories as well as variations of sentence lengths and packed information. I appreciate all the details and accuracy that you wrote down here. Excellent work!

See you next week!

-T. Donna~

Hello.
>> Correct!

I was so exhausted yesterday, so I postponed my class today to sleep more.
>> Correct!

As I expected, there were lots of patients and administrative work yesterday.
>> Correct!

I almost passed out.
>> Correct!

After our clinic closed, there was a repair construction to fix the water leak.
>> After our clinic closed, there was a repair construction worker who fixed the water leak.

Since my herpetic pain was increased, I didn't sleep well last night, nevertheless, I spent this morning to watch a drama "Mask girl" with my wife.
>> Since my herpetic pain increased, I didn't sleep well last night, nevertheless, I spent this morning to watch a drama "Mask Girl" with my wife. Very good sentence!

It was very interesting.
>> Correct!

I attended my guitar class after a long time, and it was very useful as before.
>> Correct!

Since there was a video shooting for aesthetic commercial platform, I visited a make-up shop.
>> Since there was a video shooting for an aesthetic commercial platform, I visited a make-up shop.

And, I took a video for around 1.5 hours.
>> Correct!

Although my wife and I had to be cautious about blood glucose, we ordered a chicken and ate all of it deliciously.
>> Although my wife and I had to be cautious about our blood glucose, we ordered chicken and ate all of it deliciously.

I think we deserved it because we were out of energy.
>> Correct!

There was one more thing.
>> Correct!

My guppies gave birth many babies, so I gave some of them to my friend who cultivate turtles.
>> Correct!

I hope I returned my energy tomorrow.
>> I hope to regain my energy tomorrow.

See you in class.
>> Correct!
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