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영작교정 게시판

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서비스 입니다.

What was the most special thing you did for a friend in the past? What made it so special?

작성자: 김*영
2023-10-09 1882

회원님의 영작문

There is a saying that having three true friends is a successful life.
One of my true friend who is my alumnus in college has deep depression since a few months ago.
Actually, she didn't want to let others know that but I became aware of that through our communication.
One day, I asked about that to her carefully. After then, suddenly she started crying and told me her true feeling.
She said that she doesn't know where she have to go and why she is still alive.
She looked so tired of living.
I just though about what she likes and I remembered that she enjoy eating delicious foods.
So, I suggested to her that eating out with me once in a month anywhere she wants.
It is because it makes she think about where to go and what to eat instead of thinking depressed things.
She said her conditions is getting better through our meeting and it also made me happy.
That's why I think my suggestion and having a regular meeting is special for us.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Elaine!
I'm glad you were able to do your homework.
Practice is the key to improvement.
Keep it up!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
There is a saying that having three true friends is a successful life.
>> There is a saying that having three true friends means that you have a successful life.
One of my true friend who is my alumnus in college has deep depression since a few months ago.
>> One of my true friends who is an alumnus in our college has been experiencing serious depression since a few months ago.
Actually, she didn't want to let others know that but I became aware of that through our communication.
>> Actually, she didn't want to let others know that but I became aware of that through our communications.
One day, I asked about that to her carefully. 
>> One day, I asked her about that carefully. 
After then, suddenly she started crying and told me her true feeling.
>> Just then, she suddenly started crying and told me her true feelings.
She said that she doesn't know where she have to go and why she is still alive.
>> She said that she doesn't know where she has to go and why she is still alive.
She looked so tired of living.
>> Correct
I just though about what she likes and I remembered that she enjoy eating delicious foods.
>> I just thought about what she likes and I remembered that she enjoys eating delicious food.
So, I suggested to her that eating out with me once in a month anywhere she wants.
>> So, I suggested that we eat out once a month anywhere she wants.
It is because it makes she think about where to go and what to eat instead of thinking depressed things.
>> It is because it makes her think about where to go and what to eat instead of thinking about being depressed.
She said her conditions is getting better through our meeting and it also made me happy.
>> She said her condition was getting better through our meetings and it also made me happy.
That's why I think my suggestion and having a regular meeting is special for us.
>> That's why I think my suggestion and having a regular meeting is special for us.
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